Be Kind to Yourself Today

Sara Torbett - Worth

Dear You,

“I can’t believe I did that,” you say with a shake of your head over coffee. “Why can’t I get it together?” you question in an email. “What’s the matter with me?” you whisper into the phone.

You come down hard on your own heart in a way you never would on mine.

Why do we do that as women? We speak words of love, tenderness, and compassion to each other and then condemn ourselves. We talk to our souls in way we would never speak to a friend or sister. We pass harsher judgment on our lives than we would on even our enemies sometimes.

Here’s the thing: when we talk to ourselves that way, it grieves God just as much as if we said it to someone else. He loves all of his children the same, and the words we say to ourselves hurt his heart without us even realizing it.

It seems so right to treat ourselves this way. Don’t we deserve it? Isn’t what we’re saying true? Yet we forget that we are not living a life that’s about “what we deserve.” Instead we are living a life of grace.

And grace speaks with a voice that’s full of gentleness. God calls us back not with condemnation but with kindness. If he doesn’t judge us (because of what Christ did for us on the cross), then who are we to judge ourselves?

It’s love, not the lashing of our tongues, that is meant to compel us. Punishment, law, and harshness—whether they come from ourselves or someone else—can never truly change us.

God instead invites us into a beautiful, scandalously grace-filled relationship. Within this bond he remakes us not by breaking our wills but by lovingly shaping us like a potter molding clay.

Can you take that harsh hand off your heart and let him hold you instead? Can you trade your criticism for his gentleness and your impatience with yourself for his everlasting care? He has promised to complete what he has started in you, and it happens not by force but by faith.

Trust God to transform you. Receive his grace. Lean into his love.

You’re a work of art who belongs to Someone else. You have been purchased at a great price. So treat yourself the way you would anything of great fragility and worth—with gentleness and care.


Holley Gerth

(inspired by Rom. 2:4; Eph. 4:2; Col. 3:12 and adapted from If We Could Have Coffee…{ebook})

photo and quote design by Sara Torbett


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  1. says

    These are amazing words today! I have beaten myself up in the past because I’ve always been my own worst critic. Over the last few years God has spoken His truth to me about who I am in Him. It has changed so much for me. Our worth lies in Christ, because He is worthy. How can we argue with that?

  2. says

    Oh yes, this. If we can not show love and grace to ourselves, as unworthy as we might be, how can we embrace others with genuine authenticity? Sadly, too often we are the harshest taskmasters over our own souls.

    And in the end, we, and all whose lives we touch, suffer.

    And the enemy of our souls gains yet another victory.

    Grace, grace, sisters …

  3. says

    This is such an important word…I always need to be reminded of this…I was telling our girl yesterday to not call herself “dumb” when she made a mistake…the sad thing is one hears parents talk trash to their kids to this way so it is no surprise these kids grow up with these voices inside their heads…but the Grace of God can change our thoughts…Thanks :)

  4. says

    “He has promised to complete what he has started in you, and it happens not by force but by faith.” Praise Him!
    Moved with love and compassion, He makes us His own. Redeemed and treasured. Precious stones being built up in Him. Grace upon grace!

  5. Evonne S. Jones says


    I am speechless again! God uses you to send out just the encouragement that I need just when I need it. He is amazing! Thank you!

  6. says

    Thank you, Holley. Self-condemnation has become my default mode. It’s just so hard to stop it. I try to remember Romans 8:1 – that there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus. So if He doesn’t condemn me, why should I keep condemning myself? Or it helps me to focus on what Christ really thinks of me instead of what the voices tell me. But to change that lifelong thought pattern takes so much perseverance and patience. Sometimes it feels like I have not made any progress, but I just have to keep working at it and remembering, as you said, that “it grieves God just as much as if we said it to someone else.”

  7. says

    Such an important reminder. I can be my own worst critic, no one is harder on me than me. And it breaks my heart to hear someone call themselves stupid for not knowing something. If only we could love ourselves the way God does-life changing!!

  8. Betty says

    Thanks Holley!!!
    I always get encouraged by your words and insight ! It would seem that you write about my life a lot of the time!
    God bless you!!

  9. Holley says

    I’m glad we could all be a bit kinder to ourselves today. I needed some extra grace. :) So grateful for you, friends!

  10. says

    Thank you for these words, Holley! I really needed it today…long story short: felt like a failure Monday, fell apart and couldn’t pull out of it…finally healing today…

  11. Morgan says

    Thank you for your posts. They are always such a sense of encouragement to me, and I treasure them so much. Thank you for letting God use you and speak through you.

  12. Mary T says

    Holley, as always the Lord speaks to me in perfect ways! Lent is always a blessed and cherished season for me…preparing for Jesus’ Passion, His Cross as He gives His life so we may have a new life in Him and with Him in Jesus’ Resurrection, awaiting the gift of His Holy Spirit after Jesus’ Ascension to our Father in Heaven! This season has been filled with challenge as I offer my gift of my heart, soul and mind, my self to my Lord and Savior. This has led me to be extremely harsh with myself as I experience failures only to begin anew. Your gentle reminder has restored my heart and opened my eyes to see myself through His! Thank you for loving on all of us! God bless!

  13. Nazila says

    My dear Holley , I really needed to hear it today :) Can’t thank you enough for your words of wisdom and love.


  14. kelly says

    thank you Holley! i am sooo hard on myself…& your right i would NEVER ever in a million years say to someone else..especially someone i LOVE how i talk to myself…and its a habit I am working on breaking. THANK YOU for reminding me to be kind to myself as well…((HUGS))

  15. says

    Thank you, Holley, I want to hang on to those two words, hold and mold. I want to envision God as my loving Potter, transforming me with gentleness and care. Too often I see Him as taskmaster or judge, never quite pleased with me.


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