You’re allowed to be picky

photo by  whologwhy

Children around the world sit at the kitchen table, poke at broccoli and hear something along the lines of, “Don’t be picky.”

And this is great advice when you’re six. As a kid you’re supposed to try a little of anything and everything–especially when Mama says so.

But we can grow up and never stop repeating that motto, “Don’t be picky.”

So we take the job that doesn’t really fit our strengths or gifts.

We settle for the person who doesn’t treat us kindly.

We go through life accepting what’s on our plate.

But we’re not kiddos anymore. And it’s okay to be picky.

There’s a grown up version of that line: Be intentional.

Ask God where he really wants you to be.

Look for character and heart in the people you trust.

Check out what’s being offered on that plate and see if it lines up with your calling.

“Yes” is a powerful word.

But sometimes “no” is too.

Be picky.

And pick God’s best for you.

Yep, taste and see that the Lord is good. {Ps. 34:18}


What decision are you facing right now? What’s God’s best for you in it?


  1. karyn says

    Like you’ve just written. The best for me. I’ve always put others before me, but, I see and taste that the LORD is so good. So, picking what’s the best for me and doing what’s the best for me. For once in my life. I know we’re supposed to give but just sometimes, enough is enough.
    O yeah!

  2. says

    I love this! Growing up I was told not to be picky and consequently I lowered my standards and went through a lot of headaches and heartbreak. Once I found Jesus, I learned that it is good to be picky. This has been especially true in the marriage area. I am single and have been engaged twice. And both times, I have prayed hard to God for discernment and he has put in my heart that they were not the right men for me. He put in my heart “to wait”. And so I am waiting without the anxiety that comes with being single. For now, I am delighting in being picky and being in love with the Lord!

    • sistertosister53 says

      Amen!! Same here Angie I to grew up hearing those same words. “Don’t be picky” and I as well carried that into my life and I to had a lot of headaches and heartbreak. Today I am single as well. Been married twice, because I kept hearing those words. “Don’t be picky” So I have been single for 11yrs I think I have lost count now….smile. I am waiting as well. I am being picky and I to being in love with the Lord! Amen! :)

  3. says

    LOVE THIS! :)

    To answer your question,
    I’m facing settling for ANY full-time job in this economy verses going with what’s on my heart and continuing to pursue ONLY jobs that will utilize and grow my God-given talent and strengths…

  4. Marci says

    THANK YOU, once again, for a post that I so needed…. at this precise moment! You have no idea how much God is using you to speak to me this morning. Thank you!

  5. Cindy says

    Thank you, Holley! I really appreciate what you have shared here, especially, “There’s a grown up version of that line: Be intentional.” I like that. I am looking for a part time job, and think I know what kind of work suits me. It is not easy to find, but God knows. I will look to Him for direction.

    God bless you!

  6. Angela says

    I love it too! There’s a big difference between being picky, and listening to your guts, your instinct and your heart. Other people will tell you you’re picky when you turn down a house, a job, a man that just doesn’t feel right against all logic. It’s because they so want to see you complete and happy and they’re disappointed on your behalf. Your insides instinctively know when something is right, even if no one else understands. If in doubt, do nowt. God is fine tuning your interior radar and skills of discernment. Don’t dismiss the jitters when they creep up on you – God always leaves you with peace.

    I love this: “Trust your own judgement; no one’s advice is more reliable. Sometimes your own intuition can tell you more than seven watchmen on a high tower. Above all pray to the Most High that He will show you the right thing to do.” Sirach 37. Amen to that!

  7. Angel says

    Thanks Holly:) I’m going to be “picky”! I’m listening for what God has next for me. It’s the being patient part that I have a hard time with.

  8. Petra says

    Amen sister! It took me a long time to learn that one, but oh so liberating when I did!

    Thank you once again for your wise words

    Petra x

  9. Dolores E. Green says


    Thank You for this much needed post. It spoke into my spirit but I just need to share from my heart here and just pray it comes out right.

    I have FINALLY arrived to the place in my life that I feel God has been conditioning and preparing me for since I was a youth. I have fought horrendous battles to arrive to this place in my past and my present. I have prayed, fasted, read scripture, consecrated myself unto God by cutting off contact with abusers and users of my body, soul, mind, and yes even my spirit. I Know that I know that I know WHERE God is calling me to, who with, and what ministry. There is NO doubt whatsoever! However, I feel like I am being challenged to think deeper, to be sure this is what I am ready to commit to etc everyday in numerous ways until I am just becoming totally exhausted. I feel like I am needing to explain myself without understanding what the questions are and truthfully my brain is too tired to read between covert and overt messages anymore. So, I have prayed and God has told me to go through with my commitments but to remain flexible in my approach. This I can and will do. I am moving to another state where HE is leading me, and i will rejoin with an Aunt that I have not seen in about 6 years. This places me 3 hours from the area God is calling me to then after I save money for a few months than I can transition to the area I am being called to. I do not understand how this could be wrong. I will be returning to singing and playing southern gospel music, writing songs, and authoring books while sharing my testimony in services to help others…this is where I feel called to serve and I am just at a point now where I cannot comprehend all the challenging questions and comments..I leave on oct. 3 or 4th. Would you please pray for me? I have had a total peace until I feellike others are pulling away from me..
    dolores (Dee)

  10. Carolyn says

    Dearest Holley,
    It is simply amazing how God uses your words in my life. I was having a conversation a few moments ago with my 12 year old daughter about a friend who has hurt her with her words. Your word “intentional” is great. She wants to take the “high road” and do the right thing before the Lord, but also she does not want to encourage her friend in her wrong. She has decided to to continue to include her friend. Friendships always take risk, but we do need to be intentional and leave some behind at the time and for the right reasons. Thanks.

    • Helen Bugaj says

      It sounds like your daughter’s setting boundaries in her life, and at 12 years old, that’s a great time to start! Because of their kind hearts, many Christian women and girls think they need to allow everyone access to them. I’ve learned the hard way to set boundaries, and although it may be difficult, your daughter will become stronger by starting to practice now, and her friends will respect her more. We can lay out a welcome mat, but even Jesus shook the dirt off his sandals when he was not treated w/respect in certain cities he visited!

  11. says

    Thank you so much for today’s piece. I am facing an unwanted retirement — well, let me put that a little differently. I have worked for the Federal Government for over 35 years and my current position is due to end NLT 3 Jun 2013. I am not happy in my current position BUT I do want to keep working. I am 64 years old and some places I have applied, to include other Federal agencies, act like my brain has died. I am currently pursuing an Associates degree through online accredited college, actively participate in 5K walks almost weekly, do crafts, and love the Lord. I know He will provide the answer to what and where I am suppose to run to … and more importantly, when!

  12. Debbie Trombley says

    Being picky to me is really being obedient to what God has put in my heart instead of the world around me. This week I signed up at Life Breakthough Academy so that I can help other women be intentional and picky! I can’t wait to see what God has in store. Thanks for your encouragement and the wonderful link too!

  13. Mary says


    Thank you for the awesome words of encourgagement today. I am taking baby steps when it comes to being “picky” but I am “stepping”.



  14. says

    Thank you for such a great look at this, and encouragement! I love thinking of it as being intentional . . .of asking God what His best is for me! God bless you muchly!

  15. Hazel says

    Thank you Holly. I like the way you put that. It sparks more thoughts to figure out and is an empowering thing. So thanks.

  16. Sandy. says

    Good Advice.
    Wish I Knew so when I was Younger.
    Earlier in My Journey.
    God Bless.
    "I do believe it is possible to create,
    even without ever writing a word or painting a picture,
    by simply molding one's inner life.
    And that too is a deed."
    – Etty Hillesum.

  17. says

    Wow, you nailed it. I was struggling with this *very* thing today- feeling discouraged, wondering if waiting and being ‘picky’ is even worth it, or if my standards and expectations on life are just too unrealistic, too high and up-in-the-clouds. Thank you for posting this! In instances like this it really makes me believe we are all part of a one large Masterful Plan, a grand performance… we all have similarities in our scripts that align with those around us. Proof that we are all on the ‘same page’ because we have a common Author. :)

  18. maria says

    Thanks for your very good, mature words!! I have always felt guilty about being picky and so have not had to wisdom to keep away from abusive people/situations. I am still learning and your words have so helped me put things into perspective – Thank you so much…your words have helped me so often!!

  19. Elizabeth Bestor says

    This sets me free, I know I have the right to be picky but my husband and my son always commenting in a negative way..what to do about it? I feel hurt when it seems they don’t get it..I have another problem when finally I had told my son that his girlfriend is not the one that I feel the right girl for him..I’ve seen her attitude but my son is blinded by her ..some help with any thoughts from anybody..

  20. Becky Jones says

    This really hit the nail right on the head. Be picky can be a real blessing to the adult heart. Loved it.

  21. sistertosister53 says

    Thanks Holley Love You…I thank God for this subject here…God Bless you Holley and the rest of the ladies here as well. Be picky!! :)

  22. says

    dear holly thannk youforyourdevotoal sharing and challenge iam awake at 5am qld. time andsaytomyself wel iwill waitil6am theniwill getoutof bed have prayer and bibleeading theni do notget up andthenexthing it is 6:45 wl iliveina nursinghome/ hostel. breakfast be ginsat7am andway goes myintention tostart the day with THE LORD AND A BBLEREADING iam so dissapointed becauseit realy is so imortantt have that special time withTHE LORD>

  23. Gayle says

    Dear Holley: Thank you for this and all your words of inspriation. The idea of being picky brings to my mind another side of pickiness, that is the mean-spirited pickiness of others to one’s work and even one’s character either face to face or behind the victim’s back. It goes beyond construction criticism or suggestions and is most often a classic case of adult bullying which appears to be a world-wide issue in our society today, particularly in the workplace, but also in the home and even in the church. The bully, or the nit-pickers as they are sometimes called, is usually someone with low self-esteem, with feelings of inadequacy and jealousy. The bullies quite often are vicious in their attacks causing serious emotional and physical issues for their victim who sometimes develop a sense of inadequacy and doubt about themselves too. How does one handle a situation like this? Is it possible to work things out with a bully? Or do you just take flight and be intentional about the type of people with whom you relate? I would love to hear yours and others comments on this subject.

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  25. SAndy says

    I am wanting to change careers. I continue to pray for the right one to come along. Thank you for your blogs. I love reading them.

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  27. Heather says

    Thank you so much for this. I left a mission job I loved when changes in leadership shifted focus & philosophy away from the people and country where I served. The last year I worked part-time for a friend’s ministry, hoping for full-time – but my job was eliminated due to budget constraints. For the first time in my life, I don’t have a plan, and I don’t know where the Lord is leading. He is my Provider, He is faithful, his love endures forever. Yet, there’s an urge to do SOMEthing that conflicts with the desire to wait on Him, and not jump into a poor decision.

  28. says

    And both times, I have prayed hard to God for discernment and he has put in my heart that they were not the right men for me. He put in my heart “to wait”. And so I am waiting without the anxiety that comes with being single. For now, I am delighting in being picky and being in love with the Lord! nike shox r4

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