Search Results for: impress them

Great News: We’re Called to Bless, Not Impress

{my graphics are free goodies for you}

I stand perfectly still and try to calm my fluttering heart. The sound guy clips a mic to the front of my dress and beckons me to center stage. Row after row of empty seats greet me. In a few hours, they’ll be filled with over 6,000 women from Premier Designs {an amazing jewelry company!}. Did I mention when I read the invitation to speak I somehow missed a zero? 600 would have been scary enough but this…I can’t even think about it.

The sound guy directs, “Say something so I can adjust the volume.” Let me tell you, talking to yourself in an empty arena has got to be at the top of the “awkward activities” list. I ramble off brilliant things like, “I’m Holley. I like to say y’all. I have a beagle-basset named ‘the Beast.'” The sound guy responds, “Okay, now use your speaking voice.” Now use your speaking voice?!? I only have one. And that was it. Uh-oh.

I pray the “Help me, Jesus” prayer almost nonstop and think, “At least if this crowd throws stones they’ll be gems.” It’s finally time for me to speak. As I get ready to step into the spotlight it seems God whispers, “You’re not here to impress them. You’re here to bless them.”

Oh, yes. How had I forgotten? Peace flows over me and words from God’s heart flow through me. It feels as if it’s not about me at all. And that’s exactly as it should be…because it isn’t.

I’m happy to say I made it through without passing out, throwing up and/or dying. And even more miraculous: Premier invited me back to Rally this year. I’ll be speaking to over 6,000 wonderful women again this week {I’d love your prayers!}.

I’d like to say I’m not scared at all this time. But that wouldn’t be true. And I’m sharing this because we’ll all have moments when it feels like we’re entirely inadequate for the task in front of us–even if we’ve conquered it before. In those moments, the best thing we can do is remind ourselves again it’s not about us. It’s about serving. It’s about encouraging. It’s about grabbing that spotlight and swinging it as hard as we can in the direction of Jesus.

No one has it all together. Not you. Not me. Not the woman in your life whose jewelry sets make you drool with envy. We’re all a little more afraid than we like to admit. And we’re all a lot more loved than we realize. So let’s dare to step into whatever place God has for us and remember, “I’m not here to impress them; I’m here to bless them.”

Our lives are messages written by God that only we can deliver. {And we don’t even need a special “speaking voice” to make that happen. Whew.} Wherever you are today, be YOU. Be brave. Bring it on.

XOXO

Holley Gerth

p.s. If you haven’t already, I’d encourage you to check out Premier Designs. They’re an extraordinary company with biblical values, amazing people and fabulous jewelry. I wear pieces from them almost every day!

Books to encourage you…

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Welcome to the Coffee for Your Heart weekly link-up! You’re an encourager so I’m asking you to pour out a little love with your words every Wednesday {link-up goes live at 5:30am CST}. Simply write an encouraging blog post and then share it here. Don’t have a blog? You can still write an encouraging comment. If you’re reading this by email, go to holleygerth.com to see all the fun and join in too.

Pretty please use this button in your blog post so others can easily join in with us {html code in right sidebar}. And when you link up your post, take a moment to leave an encouraging comment on the one that’s linked up just before yours. Thanks, friends!

I’m having Coffee For Your Heart with my friend Holley Gerth

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End the Year with Less Fear

by Holley 28 Comments

{my graphics are free goodies for you}

I feel a tug at the edge of my jacket and look down to identify the perpetrator. She’s brown and speckled with hair that’s sandpaper soft. Her belly is wide and she’s looking at me expectantly. I smile at her, “Okay, Mama Goat, here’s a snack.” She gobbles straight from my hand, slobbery and delighted.

Later in front of the lion cage I reach out a hand and place it flat against the glass. I imagine the beast on the other side grabbing the edge of my clothing too. The scene that unfolds in my mind is entirely different. I shiver and salute the cage with respect. “You stay there and I’ll stay there,” I think.

This is, in many ways, how we process fear as humans. We are unafraid of what we believe we can control. The waddling goat. The conversation with close friends. The spreadsheet we have done a thousand times. But our hearts speed up and our hands shake at the prospect of what we cannot. The lion licking its lips. The party with a thousand strangers. The new project that has been dubbed “critical.”

When we are afraid our first move is usually to try to gain control in some way. We dress to impress. We choose our words carefully. We go over the numbers again and again. Or we try to control others with shouting or compliments or pans of brownies.

When I went looking for back up for this strategy in Scripture I was disappointed. I discovered, much to my dismay, that the only type of control we are allotted is my least favorite kind: self-control. The universe is not on our list. Nor our relatives. Not the neighbors or the door-slamming teenager or the decorating committee. None of them.

So when anxiety stalks us, we can pause and ponder, “What am I afraid of right now?” Once we name it we can ask, “What can I actually control in this situation?”

A wise friend and counselor, Susan Goss, likes to explain it something like this: We can’t control our marriage but we can control what kind of wife we are. We can’t control our children but we can control what kind of parent we will be. We can’t control our career but we can control the sort of employee we are to our company.

This realization is likely to be met with huffing and frustration, perhaps a few kicks at the table leg and a tearing open of the package of Oreos in the back of the cabinet.

But after all that, when we actually start living this way, we find something unexpected. The fear begins to diminish. In other words, taking the next step of obedience is the equivalent of putting the glass wall between us and the lion. What we fear might still be present, but it can no longer get its claws into us.

Because of the God in us, we are braver and stronger and wiser than what we feared after all. We really always have been—we just may not have known it for awhile.

XOXO

Holley Gerth

– This post is Part Two of the End the Year with Less Fear series inspired by a live #MoreThanSmallTalk Overcoming Fear video.

– Looking for encouraging gifts? My bookshop has something for every woman on your Christmas list this year. {Psst…lots of sales are going on now.}

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I’m having Coffee For Your Heart with my friend Holley Gerth

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Wanted: Women with the Courage to Be Real

by Holley 40 Comments

We don’t want to see the vacuum lines in your carpet. Instead we want to hear about what’s causing those worry lines to crease your forehead. We don’t want to be impressed by your cute shoes. We want a glimpse of your soul. We don’t want to read your “I’ve got it all together” blog post when we know that inside you’re falling apart.

In a classic children’s story called The Velveteen Rabbit, a toy bunny longs to become “real” too and asks another toy in the nursery about it.

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.“

Becoming real is a lifelong process. But we can look for those who are actively pursuing it and invite them into our lives. That’s especially true when it comes to women who are further along in the journey than we are.

My friend and fellow writer Jennifer Watson said:

I would much rather hear from a 50-something, or older, who is killing it and more beautiful than she’s ever been because she knows what really matters in life, not some woman afraid of aging squeezing into skinny jeans who is terrified that she’s no longer relevant and useful. Every day is a battle and we are nothing without each other. Maybe it’s time to stop comparing and join forces.

Who are you letting speak into your life? We need peers, mentors, and encouragers. And in all of those roles, we need people who are willing to say, “I don’t have it all together. But I believe we’re better together.”

Look for these characteristics in “real” people:

Willing to share their struggles
Can laugh at themselves
Committed to facing fear and taking risks
Get back up when they fall
Pursue lifelong growth
Quick to encourage others
Celebrate the successes of those around them
Ask for help when they need it
Avoid gossip, criticism, and condemnation
Embrace their weaknesses as part of who they are
Don’t apologize for their strengths but instead use them
Love freely because they know how to freely be loved

Of course, we’re all works in progress. No one is going to fit this list completely. But if you find someone going in this direction, ask if you can walk beside them. Be open to what you can learn. Honor and respect those with more life experience rather than pretending you know it all. We need each other.

Also remember you can be one of those people for others. If people around you seem to constantly try to be perfect, it may be because in some way you’re giving off the impression they need to be. Or you may be modeling that behavior by expecting perfection from yourself. Sometimes we have to be the first one to say, “I’m struggling with this.” That takes courage, but when I’ve done so, the response usually has been a huge sigh of relief followed by, “Me too.”

There are no perfect people. We’re all mixed-up, in need of grace, learning every day people. You. Me. All of us. The good news is we’re also made new, deeply loved, extraordinary women who have so much to offer the world.

XOXO

Holley Gerth

P.S. You were *not* made to be perfect! Yep, it’s true. My interview at 100 Huntley Street is now live and I’d love to invite you to click here and watch.

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I love seeing #YoureLovedNoMatterWhat on a Kindle! Thanks for the image, Ashton.

Welcome to the Coffee for Your Heart weekly link-up! You’re an encourager so I’m asking you to pour out a little love with your words every Wednesday {link-up goes live at 5:30am CST}. Simply write an encouraging blog post and then share it here. Don’t have a blog? You can still write an encouraging comment. If you’re reading this by email, go to holleygerth.com to see all the fun and join in too.

Giveaway and Optional Writing Prompt: For the next few weeks, the Wednesday posts are going to be about getting free from the pressure to be perfect. I’ll have an optional writing prompt for you about that topic. If you write about it, link up and include my new book You’re Loved No Matter What: Freeing Your Heart from the Need to Be Perfect in your post somewhere, you’ll be entered to win a God’s Heart for You necklace {U.S. residents only}. Thanks to DaySpring for providing the necklaces! Congratulations to Jenn Hand for winning last week! If you don’t have a blog, you can share today’s post on Facebook, leave a comment here saying you did and answer the prompt in your comment.

The prompt for today was: What would you say to Guilt? Or perhaps you’d like to write an open letter to Grace?

Next Wednesday’s prompt is: Who in your life lives these words: “I don’t have it all together. But I believe we’re better together.”

{Click to tweet that you’re joining me here today!}

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Even Your Mistakes Can Be Used by God

by Holley 30 Comments

An old story goes that quilt makers used to intentionally put flaws into their work to remind them that only God is perfect. In a craft where every stitch counts, those women were declaring, “I’m not even going to try to be perfect.” While we’re not going to be imperfect on purpose, it’s still inevitable.

Like the errors in the quilts, when we let our mistakes and shortcomings be visible, we remind those around us that we are only human. I’ve heard religious organizations encourage people to plaster on a smile even when they were broken. They were told not doing so could “hurt your witness.” In other words, they’d risk God’s reputation.

But the opposite is actually true. When we cover up our wounds, hide our failures, and refuse to ask for help, we give the impression that we belong to someone who must not really love us. We also lead others to feel they have to hide their weaknesses as well.

When we say, “I’m broken. I’m weak. I made a mistake,” then we are also saying, “I’m not God.” The places we feel most vulnerable are often where God can show His love through us the most.

You don’t have to be afraid of being honest about who you are or what you’re going through. God can handle it, and by opening up, you just might help someone else feel safe, too.

You will not make God look bad—you will show that He is good because He loves His children even in their most difficult moments. All of our stories have light as well as dark threads and both add to the beauty.

XOXO

Holley Gerth

Looking for Mother’s Day gifts? My books will encourage the women in your life!

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Do you write out quotes, too? I love this picture from Jennifer Hand!

Welcome to the Coffee for Your Heart weekly link-up! You’re an encourager so I’m asking you to pour out a little love with your words every Wednesday {link-up goes live at 5:30am CST}. Simply write an encouraging blog post and then share it here. Don’t have a blog? You can still write an encouraging comment. If you’re reading this by email, go to holleygerth.com to see all the fun and join in too.

Giveaway and Optional Writing Prompt: For the next few weeks, the Wednesday posts are going to be about getting free from the pressure to be perfect. I’ll have an optional writing prompt for you about that topic. If you write about it, link up and include my new book You’re Loved No Matter What: Freeing Your Heart from the Need to Be Perfect in your post somewhere, you’ll be entered to win a God’s Heart for You necklace {U.S. residents only}. Thanks to DaySpring for providing the necklaces! Congratulations to Sue Donaldson for winning last week! If you don’t have a blog, you can share today’s post on Facebook, leave a comment here saying you did and answer the prompt in your comment.

The prompt for today was: What do you need to lay down or take out of your “purse”?

Next Wednesday’s prompt is: Do you have a hard time showing imperfections?

{Click to tweet that you’re joining me here today!}

An InLinkz Link-up

Finding the Hope in Your Dark Moments…

by Holley 75 Comments

necklace by Premier Designs

{image is a gift for you to use and share however you’d like}

“Count it all joy when you meet trials of many kinds.” {James 1:2}

I shake my head a bit at the words above and think, “I’m not so sure I wanna do that right now.” Normally I would have been tempted to skip to a friendlier, easier verse {I’m sure I’m the only one who does that}.

But I’d been invited by Premier Designs to speak on exactly this topic. And deep down inside, I knew I needed to figure out how to “count it all joy” for my own sake too. After all, I’ve been in a season of loss lately.

So I looked closer and prayed, “God, can you please help me understand what this means? I know you’re compassionate and you’re not telling me to just plaster a fake smile on my face. After all, Jesus wept with us when he was here. But I’m gonna be honest–I don’t get it.”

As I continued to pray and considered the passage more, I realized when we count something it means we’re intentionally recognizing the worth in it. And when we count something as joy, we’re saying there’s not only worth but also even something good.

Those thoughts brought up a memory of another challenging time in my life. I’d been through several losses and felt utterly discouraged. One day I prayed, “Lord, I feel like I’m in a deep, dark cave right now.” Of course, I didn’t hear an audible response, but He did impress on my heart, “You may be in a cave but you have a choice: You can sit in the dark or you can diamond-mine your difficulties.”

I decided then and there I wasn’t leaving that cave in my life empty-handed. I was going to take every blessing I could find with me. There were still many days when all I did was sit on the floor of the cave and grieve but I also walked away from that time in my life with treasures I never would have found otherwise.

I can hold those diamonds now and count them each as a joy. Yes, count them all joy.

Do I want to go back to that cave? No, ma’am.

But do I see the worth in it now? Oh, yes.

I’m discovering “counting it all joy” isn’t a one-time thing. It’s more of a process and a promise. It’s something we’ll be learning to do until we step into heaven where all the darkness is finally gone. Until then, we can know that with our God nothing is ever worthless. It all counts even more than we can see right now. And that hope can light the way to treasures we never imagined we could find in our hard times.

XOXO

Holley Gerth

p.s. I’m speaking to over 6,000 wonderful folks from Premier Designs today and would appreciate your prayers! The necklace in the photo above is one of their beautiful pieces of jewelry.