Are you in the Guilt Cycle or the Grace Cycle?

I open my eyes to a new day and a long list of to-do’s. Before I’m even out of bed, I notice a cobweb in the corner. Guilt creeps under the covers with me. I think of other women with cobweb-free corners (in their homes and hearts). I vow that today I’ll try harder…

Can you relate that that pattern? If so, you’re familiar with what I like to call the Guilt Cycle. It’s like a little hamster wheel in our hearts that we run around again and again. It looks like this:

Guilt Cycle

Another day I wake up and take a deep breath of grace. I’m loved and known and whatever happens today I will be okay. I slip into the kitchen with a smile for my first cup of coffee. I sit at the table with my to-do list and ask God for His perspective on it. It seems like I can feel Him with me as I check off the first item…

Can you relate to that pattern? If so, you’re familiar with what I like to call the Grace Cycle. Instead of a hamster wheel, it’s a safe space for our hearts to rest and thrive.

Grace Cycle


If you’re like me, the Guilt Cycle is one of my biggest struggles. I go into it without even realizing it until the end of the day when I’m exhausted. I’m asking God to teach me to live differently. To trade guilt for grace. How does that happen? Here’s a start…

Getting from the Guilt Cycle to the Grace Cycle…

First, pause and identify which cycle you’re in.

If it’s the Guilt Cycle, listen for the lie. What are you telling yourself that isn’t true? For example, “I’m not doing enough.”

Then replace that lie with grace-filled truth. For example, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. But He never asks me to do it all!”

Ask for help. Whisper a prayer saying, “Jesus, I’m on the hamster wheel of the Guilt Cycle again. I want to step off of it and back into grace. Please forgive me and help me receive what I need to from You right now.”

Then do it again tomorrow.

I don’t have this down. It’s still a daily choice. How about you–can you relate? What helps you live in grace instead of guilt? I’d love for you to leave a comment and let me know what works for you….


P.S. Because I am so grateful for each of you, I am giving away this Ever Grateful vase to one of you. It would be a beautiful addition to your Thanksgiving table! 🙂 Comment by Sunday at midnight and I’ll draw one winner. Have a great weekend, y’all!

About Holley

About Holley

Wall Street Journal Bestselling Author and Life Coach

I like humans, words, and good coffee. And I’d love to help you beat what’s holding you back, become all you’re created to be, and kick butt for the greater good.

Cheering you on,


Never Miss a Thing

Join Holley’s mailing list to receive the latest news, blog posts, and updates

What % Introvert Are You?

 My 1-Minute Quiz Will Tell You

New Book You’ll Love!

Get the Book

Writing Course for You!