Holley Gerth

Embrace Who You Are, Become All You're Created to Be

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Want to know the secret to love? There really is one…

by Holley 7 Comments

Love each other. John 13:34

 {my graphics are free goodies for you}

Imagine you can know a secret that will make any relationship in your life more likely to last. This secret is small, quick and costs nothing. Like a tiny key, it unlocks what comes between you and the people you love. Would you be interested? It turns out there IS a secret like this. And as your Valentine’s Day gift, I’m sharing it with you.

John Gottman, a researcher and psychologist, has hosted couples at his “Love Lab” in Seattle for decades. Set up like an apartment, Gottman and his team (with the couple’s permission and in public spaces only) video the couples’ interactions.

Gottman has found we all make “bids for connection.” A bid might be as simple as saying, “Hey, look at this crazy bird in the backyard.” We have three responses to such bids…

  • Turn Away – This response ignores our partner. Maybe we keep our eyes glued to our phone or the TV.
  • Turn Against – This response is actually antagonistic, “Who cares about the stupid bird?”
  • Turn Toward – This response accepts the bid for connection. “Wow, I can’t believe that ostrich climbed our fence!”

Turning toward is the secret to lasting love. Couples who stay together turn toward each other about 86% of the time. And this doesn’t just apply to romantic partners. Turning toward also helps our relationships with kids, parents, friends, coworkers, even the dog.

Big love is about little things.

Now it’s your turn to pass along the secret.

XOXO
Holley

Want More?

Listen to Love is Weird, Episode 10 of my new podcast, More than Small Talk. Thank you so much for recently putting More than Small Talk in the top 40 Christian podcasts! Not sure how to listen to a podcast? Start here.

7 Comments Filed Under: Love, More then Small Talk

I Love People Who Laugh So Hard They Snort

by Holley 5 Comments

I love people who laugh so hard they snort.

Hello, Friend! I hope your week is going well! I'm writing from my favorite coffee shop and there's an empty seat across from me. Wish you were here! … read more...

5 Comments Filed Under: (in)courage, More then Small Talk

You Don’t Have to Try So Hard

by Holley 7 Comments

I am always with you.

Hello, Friend! Just dropping in for a moment to cheer you on and help you embrace grace wherever you are, as you are today...Listen: A no-guilt, … read more...

7 Comments Filed Under: Everyday Faith, More then Small Talk

You’re Loved Right Here, Right Now, Just As You Are

by Holley 5 Comments

We love deeply when we know we’re deeply loved.

Let's talk about how loved you are. Here's what I want to share with you today to remind you to pause and embrace your life -- no matter how messy it … read more...

5 Comments Filed Under: Hope/Encouragement, Love, More then Small Talk, You're Loved No Matter What

Round-Up of Helpful Resources: A Few of YOUR Favorite Things…

by Holley 25 Comments

Hey there, I notice you and I'm paying attention. I’m listening so I can hear what you love. I want to do everything I can to help you embrace who you … read more...

25 Comments Filed Under: Coffee for Your Heart, Introverts

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