Courage Archives - Holley Gerth

I’m Holley Gerth. I have depression—but it doesn’t have me.

Hey Depression,

You think you have me. But that isn’t true. I have you.

That means every time you knock me down I’m going to get back up. It means you don’t get to define me. Instead I will always defy you.

You will never get to be the boss of me. God alone gets to determine my identity and destiny. You may make me hide under the covers sometimes. But you will not make me cover up who I really am.

You think I should be afraid of you. But you should be afraid of me. Because I’m not giving in or giving up. I will never surrender. And I’m going to show the world who you are, a liar and thief who whispers in the dark and takes what’s not yours.

You taunt me with shame and tell me if anyone knew about you I would no longer be loved. But I am not ashamed. I am named “beloved” by the God who crafted me into being. No matter what you say, He “made me in an amazing and wonderful way” (Ps. 139:14).

You’d like to convince me I’m a coward. But I’m doing whatever it takes to stand up to you. I go to my doctor. I see my counselor. I tell my trusted friends. I embrace joy when it comes. I do brave, hard things over and over. This is not cowardice—it’s true courage.

You tempt me to hold back until I’m completely rid of you. “How can you help others,” you hiss, “when you’re still broken?” But I’ve learned it’s through our broken places that God’s love often flows out the most freely to others.

Here’s the secret: You think you have taken so much from me. But you’ve actually done the opposite. You’ve revealed I’m stronger than I know, braver than I feel, and loved more than I can even imagine.

Let me drop this bomb on you today, Depression…

You tried to make me weak. What you did instead was make me a warrior.

And I will never stop fighting.

Sincerely,

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Want More?

* To hear more about my battle with depression (and kick-butt victory), subscribe to the More than Small Talk podcast on KLRC or your favorite podcast app and listen to Episode 20: Depression Doesn’t Define You.

* To start beating depression right now get You’re Going to Be Okay and What Your Heart Needs for the Hard Days.

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7 Amazing Strengths of a Highly Sensitive Person

by Holley 19 Comments

Do other people’s moods affect you? Do you get stressed when you have a lot to do in a short amount of time? Do loud noises and strong smells bother you? Then you might be a highly sensitive person.

About twenty percent of people have a nervous system that makes them especially in tune with what’s happening around them. I’m one of the twenty percent—and it’s likely that you or someone you love is too.

When you’re asked, “Why are you so sensitive?” or told to toughen up it can seem like being an HSP is a struggle. But I believe it’s actually a superpower.

7 Amazing Strengths of a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)

1) Relationships – HSPs make great friends, parents and partners. We’re aware of what’s going on in the hearts, minds and lives of those we care about most (sometimes even more than they are). We’re attentive and responsive to the needs of others.
2) Empathy – HSPs actually feel the emotions of others. This is beyond sympathy, which is more like pity. Because of this we’re gifted at making people feel truly heard and less alone.
3) Consideration – HSPs are highly in tune to how their actions impact others. We’re not going to be the ones cutting others off in traffic, talking loudly on our phones in a quiet coffee shop or having too many items in the express lane at the grocery store.
4) Intuition – HSP nervous systems are constantly taking in tons of information. Because of this we often “just know” things in ways that are hard to explain. When we’re making decisions this adds a deeper layer that can give us unusual discernment.
5) Courage – HSPs are tender and tough. Having a soft heart in a hard world is courage not weakness. Kindness is an act of bravery. Engaging with the emotions of others takes guts. Never, ever let someone tell you that being sensitive is being weak.
6) Living Fully – HSPs don’t go through life half asleep. We’re not phoning it in or doing the minimum. We’re engaged with the people around us, the places we’re in and the purpose we’ve been put on earth to complete.
7) Resilience – HSPs are deeply affected by everything from news headlines to heartbreaking news about a close friend. Keeping our hearts open is a battle because it would be so much easier and less exhausting to close ourselves off from everything. We get knocked down and keep getting back up. We’re not weak; we’re warriors.

Next Steps

- If you want to know whether or not you or someone you love is an HSP, search for “Highly Sensitive Person Quiz” and take it online.
- If you love, lead or share life with HSPs, will you remind us of our strengths today, especially if you haven’t understood them before? Your encouragement matters more to us than you know.
- If you’re a Highly Sensitive Person, keep being who you are. Our cynical, bitter world needs you now more than ever. You are here for such a time as this.
- Take time to work through the gift I send everyone who joins my (free) courageous community — 15 Minutes to Your Mission Statement: 4 Exercises to Help You Discover Your Personal Strengths and Direction

“Now that I’ve quit trying to be like everyone else, I’m enjoying new-found freedoms that have brought me contentment, peace, and unexpected joy.” – Cheri Gregory, HSP and founder of the site Sensitive and Strong (a great resource!)

Your sensitivity isn’t a struggle, it’s a superpower.

XOXO

Holley

p.s. If you liked this post you’ll love Episode 16 of More than Small Talk: Strong Women, Soft Hearts (available now on KLRC.com or your favorite podcast app.)

You asked: How do I help a friend who’s hurting?

by Holley 9 Comments

I’m often asked what to say or do in difficult situations. As a counselor and life coach, I still believe the best encouragement is simply the presence of another person who cares.

Even in a professional counseling relationship, research has shown that the connection between the client and counselor accounts for 70 percent of the outcome.

If words do come to mind, share them gently with grace and affirmation—the way Jesus does with you. But just being there is enough.

Encouragement literally means to give someone courage. It helps us get back up, face our day with joy, and fulfill the purpose God has for us. It’s more than a simple pat on the back or a feel-good pep talk. It’s fuel for our faith that provides what we need to move forward even on the most difficult of days.

You’re an encourager and with God you have all you need to make a difference in the lives of whoever you meet today. Truly.

XOXO

Holley

If You Liked this Post, You’ll Love these Resources
– The Encouragement Project: 21 Heart-to-Heart Ways to Show You Care (a helpful little book that costs less than a latte!)
– Episode 15 of More than Small Talk: Knowing How to Really Help (on KLRC.com or your favorite podcast app)

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Round-Up of Helpful Resources: A Few of YOUR Favorite Things…

by Holley 25 Comments

Hey there, I notice you and I’m paying attention. I’m listening so I can hear what you love. I want to do everything I can to help you embrace who you are and become all you’re created to be. So here’s a list of what you’ve said is most helpful…

Your Favorite Post Ever: 7 Ways to Love an Introvert

In ten years of blogging no other post even comes close to being this loved. And, good news, I’m going to be writing a lot more for and about introverts! When I did a survey here I discovered about 75% of you are introverts—much higher than the percentage in the general population. I am too (INFJ). And even if you’re not an introvert, you likely love, lead or share life with one so the content will be helpful to you too. I believe being an introvert isn’t a struggle, it’s a superpower. Let’s find your cape. Never miss a post: Click here to subscribe.

Your Favorite Books

What Your Heart Needs for the Hard Days
I got this for a friend who was going through a hard time and she loved it too. No matter what you’re going through this book is one you’ll keep and read often. I read through it twice and still pick it up when I’m facing a hard day. – Judith (Already read it? Try my newest devo: Hope Your Heart Needs)

You’re Already Amazing
I’m the leader of a bible study group of about 20 women (ages 20’s – 70’s) and we did this as a study. This was our first encounter with Holley Gerth and her books. This is a fantastic study for any age group of women who want to grow in their relationship with God by understanding His TRUTH, learning about who you are, God’s plan for your life, and discovering where and how you can serve in the Body of Christ/the Church. You will be amazed as you discover how amazing God made you! – Teri (You made this book a Wall Street Journal bestseller. Thank you!)

Fiercehearted
This book is, quite possibly, the most powerful book I’ve read. The impact on my life and thoughts has been monumental. I know I’ll reread this many, many times. – Marie

Your Favorite Graphic

What I Hope Will Be Your New Favorite

I’m launching a podcast called More than Small Talk with my dear friends and fellow writers Suzanne Eller and Jennifer Watson in partnership with KLRC. The first episode is already available! You can find it on KLRC or your favorite podcast app. Click on the following links for iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play, Google Podcasts, Spotify, and TuneIn.

New to podcasts? Here’s a guide for how you can listen.

If you love the podcast it would be a huge gift and help more people find it if you’ll subscribe and leave a review. Thank you!

I’d Love to Hear from You

Also, I’ve passed off the Let’s Have Coffee link-up to Sue from Welcome Heart. So if you’re looking for that you can find it on her site.

What are some other favorite resources of yours? What’s going on in your life right now and how can I be helpful to you here? You can let me know by leaving a comment.

I’m so grateful for you and I truly believe the best is yet to be for us. Looking forward to what’s ahead! Let’s stay in touch.

XOXO
Holley Gerth

Let’s Welcome the New Year with Hope (Here’s Why We Can)

by Holley Leave a Comment

The airport is crowded this morning. As I wait for my flight I watch the parade of people. Disgruntled teenagers with caps pulled down over their eyes trailing behind determined parents. Bright-eyed couples holding hands with the honeymoon sun still on their faces. A group of grey-headed ladies in pink matching t-shirts laughing and exchanging stories while they sip coffee. I wonder about all of them. Where have they come from? Where are they going?

I realize all over again in that moment God knows the answers. He sees every detail of our lives. He’s been with us in every step we’ve ever taken. And as we welcome a new year this reassures me. Because none of us knows what’s ahead. There are certain to be blessings and moments of happiness. There will also be hard days and tears shed. Some parts of our lives will stay much the same and others, like it or not, will inevitably change.

A blond little girl in pigtails walks by with a stuffed brown bear in her arms. Seeing her reminds me of the first time I flew by myself. I was only five years old when I marched up to the ticket counter with a little red suitcase in hand to tell the amused airline employee the plane needed to come so I could go see my Grandma. My parents observed from close by and made sure every bit of the trip was in order. These days I carry a leopard print laptop bag and I’ve flown away from my comfort zone many times. But on the inside that younger self and I still have much in common. We want to know we’re safe. We’re loved.

We’re going to be okay. That’s what gives us the courage to pick up our bag and go.

Psalm 121:8 says, “The Lord will protect your coming and going both now and forever.” This is mysterious to me because difficult things happen, people get sick, and life doesn’t always work out the way I planned. But even if I don’t understand them fully these words offer hope because it means whatever may transpire God is still taking caring of me.

Today I’m sharing at (in)courage. Click here to continue reading the post…

And if you’d like more encouragement for the new year, you’ll find it in Hope Your Heart Needs: 52 Encouraging Reminders of How God Cares for You. Order your copy before midnight on December 31st, fill out this form, and you’ll also receive Hope for the Holidays, an exclusive, limited-time only ebook — for free!