Courage Archives - Holley Gerth

I’m Done Running Away from What Scares Me (You Can Be Too)

I’m driving home from lunch with a new friend, replaying the conversation. Fear makes my breathing shallow, my heartbeat fast. What if she doesn’t like me? What if I came across all wrong? I often have moments like this when anxiety gets the best of me and I want to retreat from the whole world.

But this time I pray, “Jesus, help me. I don’t understand why I act this way. I want to be free.” A simple declaration comes to my heart: I am done running away. From now on, I am running toward.

{my graphics are free goodies for you}

I don’t even fully understand what this means but I put on my tennis shoes when I get home. I walk out the door and onto the trail behind our house. I turn on my favorite music and run like my life depends on it. No more, no more, no more, I say with every step.

I think of all I have run away from…how fear has chased me and people-pleasing has set my pace, how anxiety has nipped at my heels like a rogue chihuahua, how the lies have worn me out.

I am done.

I will no longer be a woman who’s defined by what she’s running from.

I am going to run toward grace. I am going to run toward love. I am going to run toward the wild dreams that beckon me in the distance. I am going to run toward boldness and freedom and holy confidence. I am going to run toward Jesus.

I finish, sweaty and spent on the outside, strong and roaring on the inside. I don’t know everything this new perspective means, what exactly I have done. But it feels like something dark and destructive challenged me to a race today.

And I won.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.
{Hebrews 12:1}

XOXO
Holley Gerth

P.S. Will you join me in the journey of living as a fiercehearted woman? Let’s live fully and love bravely — together.

P.S.S. Just so you know, this post includes affiliate links, which means if you click through and make a purchase I may receive a commission (at no additional cost to you). I only share what I believe will be truly helpful. Thanks for your support in this way!

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It’s Okay If We Don’t Have It All Figured Out

by Holley 25 Comments

When I drive I often become lost in thought, which tends to lead to being lost in my car. The other evening I got off on the wrong exit. No big deal, I told myself, I’ll just turn on this random road. It looks like it goes north. (Never mind that my brain thinks whatever direction I’m facing is north.)

Needless to say, this road did not take me home. Instead it took me into scary places where no one had bothered to put street lights. I was sure Big Foot was going to appear. I heard wolves howling (or they could have been chihuahuas—it didn’t matter at this point). I hit potholes the size of the Grand Canyon. I prayed relentlessly, “Help me, Jesus” because I was sure I would soon meet Him face-to-face.

Then, suddenly, I saw a stoplight. When I pulled up to it, sweaty, exhausted and grateful to be alive, I realized it was the exact same spot where I had taken the original wrong turn. I had, in effect, driven in a square right back to where I started. It had been five minutes. At this point I turned myself over to the GPS, whose voice guided me the rest of the way without further incident.

{my graphics are free goodies for you}

Once the danger had passed I thought of these words from Proverbs 3:5-6 (because everything in my life seems to turn into some sort of spiritual analogy): Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He’s the one who will keep you on track.

It’s the “don’t depend on your own understanding” part that’s hard for me. Because sometimes I just know that I’m right, that I have it all figured out, that I’m heading “north” in whatever decision I’m making. But so often I find myself on a back road where I don’t belong, scared out of my wits and just hoping I’m not about to be abducted by aliens.

When I don’t know where I’m headed in the next moment or day or year I feel stressed and anxious and slightly guilty. I feel like I have to guess or just do my best rather than relying on something outside myself, like the GPS in my car or the Spirit of God within me. I’m in a season that feels this way. And I have been freaking out because of it. Just this morning a friend said to me, “Maybe you’re not supposed to figure this out.” My whole soul sighed in relief at those words.

So just in case you’re wired a bit like me (or love someone who is) let’s tell ourselves all over again: We don’t have to figure everything out on our own.

True confession: Living this way doesn’t feel like “north” to me yet. It feels scary and awkward and as if I’m losing control. But I’m slowly discovering it’s actually what I want and need most. Trust, not trying hard, is what leads me into peace and rest and even joy. It’s the only way home for my wandering, worrying heart.

XOXO
Holley

P.S. If you need a little dose of encouragement each morning (I know I do!), I wrote this for you.

P.P.S. Are you on Instagram? If so, I’d love to connect with you there.

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You’re invited to join the “Let’s Have Coffee” link up! Simply write a post that has the kind of encouragement you’d share with a friend over coffee and then add it here (the link up goes live at 5:30am CT every Wednesday). Don’t have a blog? You can still write an encouraging comment. If you’re reading this by email, go to holleygerth.com to see all the fun and join in too.

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God Will Use Us Even If We Don’t Feel “Ready”

by Holley 19 Comments

Someone recently asked me, “What would you say to a woman who’s struggling in life or ministry and wondering, ‘Is God even calling me?’” Haven’t we all been in that place of uncertainty? I have. I’ve wrestled with the dark and doubt, the questions and insecurity.

And here’s what I’ve come to believe: When we ask, “Is God calling me?” the answer is always, “Absolutely.” He is calling each and every one of us to Himself. That’s the calling we all share.

Within that calling there will be things He asks us to do, steps of obedience He wants us to take. Whatever that is, we will never feel fully ready to do it. That is a good thing. Because it’s not about us. It’s about Him. Our brokenness, our weaknesses, and our failures are not enough to stop our unstoppable God.

{my graphics are free goodies for you}

I am living proof that’s true. I imagine you are too.

That’s why we need each other. As my friend and fellow writer Jennifer Watson says, “Don’t do it alone. The enemy wants to isolate us. Find at least one other person to partner with you. There is a reason Jesus sent His disciples out two by two.” Needing other people isn’t weakness; it’s wisdom. It’s the design God has always had in mind.

So let’s raise our hands and hearts together today and say, “God, we will not give in to the fear or insecurity. We hear You calling us and we’re answering. We’ll do whatever You want us to do. And what we want most of all is more of You.”

Cheering you on…

Holley

P.S. If you liked this post, you might love You’re Made for a God-sized Dream: Opening the Door to All God Has for You. Want a preview of the book? Here’s a free excerpt.

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What We Need More than Self-Esteem

by Holley 27 Comments

I’m part of a panel at a women’s event and those of us on stage are asked, “Do you ever struggle with confidence? It looks like all of you have it all together.” I’ve been asked this before, told this before, and it still surprises and startles me. Because I can see my insides. I know my messes and my crazy, mistakes and stumbles, how I’ve wrestled with depression and anxiety like wild alligators, how my heart has the scars to prove it.

The woman who gets the microphone first is lovely and confident, outgoing and articulate. By the time it’s my turn my heart is pounding, I’m sweating and I feel like I have something in my nose (which always happens when I’m speaking in public). I tell the audience all this and they laugh with me, thankfully.

{my graphics are free goodies for you}

Then I also say what God has been putting on my heart, what has been saving me from myself, what has been making me stronger and bolder in ways that are catching me by surprise. I declare to this group of women and to my imperfect self, “What I’ve been realizing lately is this: The world tells us we need to have self-esteem but what we really need is holy confidence.”

For years I tried to prove I was enough. Perfect enough. Good enough. Experienced enough. Smart enough. Pretty enough. But it’s only when we come to the place where we can finally say, ‘I’m not enough but Jesus is’ that our hearts get free.

The reality is we will always fall short of the expectations of others and ourselves. But it doesn’t matter because our scandalous God, our gracious Savior, declares we are beloved and chosen and empowered anyway.

Self-esteem says we can do it.

Holy confidence says, in spite of us, God will.

In the moments when I’m insecure and afraid, when my heart is pounding, my hands are sweating and it feels like there’s something in my nose, that’s the Truth that I really need to know. Maybe, just maybe, I’m not the only one.

XOXO

Holley Gerth

P.S. If you liked this post, you might love Do You Know You’re Already Amazing? 30 Truths to Set Your Heart Free. Want a preview of the devotional? Here’s a free chapter.

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When Fear Makes Us Want to Hide

by Holley 32 Comments

{my graphics are free goodies for you}

I hold a list in my hand. The words are written in black sharpie on cream paper in a square, unlined journal. The page looks so small but the sentences scrawled on it feel big, more than I could ever handle.

I’m going through a process of healing and my assignment for this week is to write down my fears. The wise, strong, encouraging friend to my right says, “Okay, read your fears out loud.” I panic for a moment. Read them out loud? Where people can hear? For a second I consider running out the door. But then I think, “No, I want to be free. Whatever it takes.”

I clear my throat and begin…

I’m afraid of not being good enough.
I’m afraid of disappointing God and others.
I’m afraid of rejection, failure, conflict, disapproval, inadequacy.

What fears would be on your list?

When we’re afraid, our natural tendency is to hide. We physically or emotionally retreat to where it feels safer. I’ve done this by literally diving under the covers in my bedroom. Or I’ve hidden my heart by putting on a smiling face when I felt broken inside.

God knows of this tendency we have as humans and He doesn’t tell us not to hide. We aren’t in trouble for this instinct. What God does want to change is where and how we hide. God Himself wants to be our “hiding place.”

“For You are my hiding place; You protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of victory.” {Psalm 32:7}

I used to think I had to get rid of my fears before I came to God–that He wanted me to be strong all the time. But when God says “do not fear” in Scripture it’s almost always to someone who’s already afraid. It’s not a rebuke but a reassurance, much like a scared child finding comfort and security in the arms of a loving parent.

When I looked at my list of fears I wanted to run from them. But instead, perhaps fully for the first time, I realized I can run to God with them. I got on my knees and told Him what scares me most.

“I prayed to the Lord, and He answered me. He freed me from all my fears.” {Psalm 34:4}

Yes, I will face fears again in this life but that moment felt like a breakthrough. Because I know now whatever I’m facing, I can come to God with it. He is our strength and security. He gives us courage and makes us brave. His love and truth are bigger and stronger than anything we fear.

XOXO

Holley Gerth

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Right now, we’re doing a special link-up series to celebrate Fiercehearted: Live Fully, Love Bravely. You’re a fiercehearted woman so I’m asking you to pour out a little love and courage with your words every Wednesday {the link-up goes live at 5:30am CST}. Simply write an encouraging blog post, especially if it’s about living fully and loving bravely, and then share it here. Don’t have a blog? You can still write an encouraging comment. If you’re reading this by email, go to holleygerth.com to see all the fun and join in too.

When you link up your post, take a moment to leave an encouraging comment on the one that’s linked up just before yours. Thanks, friends!

I’m having Coffee For Your Heart with my friend Holley Gerth!

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