Courage Archives - Holley Gerth

It’s Okay If We Don’t Have It All Figured Out

When I drive I often become lost in thought, which tends to lead to being lost in my car. The other evening I got off on the wrong exit. No big deal, I told myself, I’ll just turn on this random road. It looks like it goes north. (Never mind that my brain thinks whatever direction I’m facing is north.)

Needless to say, this road did not take me home. Instead it took me into scary places where no one had bothered to put street lights. I was sure Big Foot was going to appear. I heard wolves howling (or they could have been chihuahuas—it didn’t matter at this point). I hit potholes the size of the Grand Canyon. I prayed relentlessly, “Help me, Jesus” because I was sure I would soon meet Him face-to-face.

Then, suddenly, I saw a stoplight. When I pulled up to it, sweaty, exhausted and grateful to be alive, I realized it was the exact same spot where I had taken the original wrong turn. I had, in effect, driven in a square right back to where I started. It had been five minutes. At this point I turned myself over to the GPS, whose voice guided me the rest of the way without further incident.

{my graphics are free goodies for you}

Once the danger had passed I thought of these words from Proverbs 3:5-6 (because everything in my life seems to turn into some sort of spiritual analogy): Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He’s the one who will keep you on track.

It’s the “don’t depend on your own understanding” part that’s hard for me. Because sometimes I just know that I’m right, that I have it all figured out, that I’m heading “north” in whatever decision I’m making. But so often I find myself on a back road where I don’t belong, scared out of my wits and just hoping I’m not about to be abducted by aliens.

When I don’t know where I’m headed in the next moment or day or year I feel stressed and anxious and slightly guilty. I feel like I have to guess or just do my best rather than relying on something outside myself, like the GPS in my car or the Spirit of God within me. I’m in a season that feels this way. And I have been freaking out because of it. Just this morning a friend said to me, “Maybe you’re not supposed to figure this out.” My whole soul sighed in relief at those words.

So just in case you’re wired a bit like me (or love someone who is) let’s tell ourselves all over again: We don’t have to figure everything out on our own.

True confession: Living this way doesn’t feel like “north” to me yet. It feels scary and awkward and as if I’m losing control. But I’m slowly discovering it’s actually what I want and need most. Trust, not trying hard, is what leads me into peace and rest and even joy. It’s the only way home for my wandering, worrying heart.

XOXO
Holley

P.S. If you need a little dose of encouragement each morning (I know I do!), I wrote this for you.

P.P.S. Are you on Instagram? If so, I’d love to connect with you there.

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You’re invited to join the “Let’s Have Coffee” link up! Simply write a post that has the kind of encouragement you’d share with a friend over coffee and then add it here (the link up goes live at 5:30am CT every Wednesday). Don’t have a blog? You can still write an encouraging comment. If you’re reading this by email, go to holleygerth.com to see all the fun and join in too.

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God Will Use Us Even If We Don’t Feel “Ready”

by Holley 19 Comments

Someone recently asked me, “What would you say to a woman who’s struggling in life or ministry and wondering, ‘Is God even calling me?’” Haven’t we all been in that place of uncertainty? I have. I’ve wrestled with the dark and doubt, the questions and insecurity.

And here’s what I’ve come to believe: When we ask, “Is God calling me?” the answer is always, “Absolutely.” He is calling each and every one of us to Himself. That’s the calling we all share.

Within that calling there will be things He asks us to do, steps of obedience He wants us to take. Whatever that is, we will never feel fully ready to do it. That is a good thing. Because it’s not about us. It’s about Him. Our brokenness, our weaknesses, and our failures are not enough to stop our unstoppable God.

{my graphics are free goodies for you}

I am living proof that’s true. I imagine you are too.

That’s why we need each other. As my friend and fellow writer Jennifer Watson says, “Don’t do it alone. The enemy wants to isolate us. Find at least one other person to partner with you. There is a reason Jesus sent His disciples out two by two.” Needing other people isn’t weakness; it’s wisdom. It’s the design God has always had in mind.

So let’s raise our hands and hearts together today and say, “God, we will not give in to the fear or insecurity. We hear You calling us and we’re answering. We’ll do whatever You want us to do. And what we want most of all is more of You.”

Cheering you on…

Holley

P.S. If you liked this post, you might love You’re Made for a God-sized Dream: Opening the Door to All God Has for You. Want a preview of the book? Here’s a free excerpt.

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What We Need More than Self-Esteem

by Holley 27 Comments

I’m part of a panel at a women’s event and those of us on stage are asked, “Do you ever struggle with confidence? It looks like all of you have it all together.” I’ve been asked this before, told this before, and it still surprises and startles me. Because I can see my insides. I know my messes and my crazy, mistakes and stumbles, how I’ve wrestled with depression and anxiety like wild alligators, how my heart has the scars to prove it.

The woman who gets the microphone first is lovely and confident, outgoing and articulate. By the time it’s my turn my heart is pounding, I’m sweating and I feel like I have something in my nose (which always happens when I’m speaking in public). I tell the audience all this and they laugh with me, thankfully.

{my graphics are free goodies for you}

Then I also say what God has been putting on my heart, what has been saving me from myself, what has been making me stronger and bolder in ways that are catching me by surprise. I declare to this group of women and to my imperfect self, “What I’ve been realizing lately is this: The world tells us we need to have self-esteem but what we really need is holy confidence.”

For years I tried to prove I was enough. Perfect enough. Good enough. Experienced enough. Smart enough. Pretty enough. But it’s only when we come to the place where we can finally say, ‘I’m not enough but Jesus is’ that our hearts get free.

The reality is we will always fall short of the expectations of others and ourselves. But it doesn’t matter because our scandalous God, our gracious Savior, declares we are beloved and chosen and empowered anyway.

Self-esteem says we can do it.

Holy confidence says, in spite of us, God will.

In the moments when I’m insecure and afraid, when my heart is pounding, my hands are sweating and it feels like there’s something in my nose, that’s the Truth that I really need to know. Maybe, just maybe, I’m not the only one.

XOXO

Holley Gerth

P.S. If you liked this post, you might love Do You Know You’re Already Amazing? 30 Truths to Set Your Heart Free. Want a preview of the devotional? Here’s a free chapter.

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When Fear Makes Us Want to Hide

by Holley 32 Comments

{my graphics are free goodies for you}

I hold a list in my hand. The words are written in black sharpie on cream paper in a square, unlined journal. The page looks so small but the sentences scrawled on it feel big, more than I could ever handle.

I’m going through a process of healing and my assignment for this week is to write down my fears. The wise, strong, encouraging friend to my right says, “Okay, read your fears out loud.” I panic for a moment. Read them out loud? Where people can hear? For a second I consider running out the door. But then I think, “No, I want to be free. Whatever it takes.”

I clear my throat and begin…

I’m afraid of not being good enough.
I’m afraid of disappointing God and others.
I’m afraid of rejection, failure, conflict, disapproval, inadequacy.

What fears would be on your list?

When we’re afraid, our natural tendency is to hide. We physically or emotionally retreat to where it feels safer. I’ve done this by literally diving under the covers in my bedroom. Or I’ve hidden my heart by putting on a smiling face when I felt broken inside.

God knows of this tendency we have as humans and He doesn’t tell us not to hide. We aren’t in trouble for this instinct. What God does want to change is where and how we hide. God Himself wants to be our “hiding place.”

“For You are my hiding place; You protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of victory.” {Psalm 32:7}

I used to think I had to get rid of my fears before I came to God–that He wanted me to be strong all the time. But when God says “do not fear” in Scripture it’s almost always to someone who’s already afraid. It’s not a rebuke but a reassurance, much like a scared child finding comfort and security in the arms of a loving parent.

When I looked at my list of fears I wanted to run from them. But instead, perhaps fully for the first time, I realized I can run to God with them. I got on my knees and told Him what scares me most.

“I prayed to the Lord, and He answered me. He freed me from all my fears.” {Psalm 34:4}

Yes, I will face fears again in this life but that moment felt like a breakthrough. Because I know now whatever I’m facing, I can come to God with it. He is our strength and security. He gives us courage and makes us brave. His love and truth are bigger and stronger than anything we fear.

XOXO

Holley Gerth

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Right now, we’re doing a special link-up series to celebrate Fiercehearted: Live Fully, Love Bravely. You’re a fiercehearted woman so I’m asking you to pour out a little love and courage with your words every Wednesday {the link-up goes live at 5:30am CST}. Simply write an encouraging blog post, especially if it’s about living fully and loving bravely, and then share it here. Don’t have a blog? You can still write an encouraging comment. If you’re reading this by email, go to holleygerth.com to see all the fun and join in too.

When you link up your post, take a moment to leave an encouraging comment on the one that’s linked up just before yours. Thanks, friends!

I’m having Coffee For Your Heart with my friend Holley Gerth!

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What Gift Can You Give Yourself this Christmas?

by Holley 31 Comments

{my graphics are free goodies for you}

Gift-giving is not my strong suit. I stand in the aisles of stores slack-jawed with my eyes glazed over. I don’t know how to choose between the Cranberry Cinnamon Scone candle or the Christmas Cookie one. I just get hungry and go home empty-handed. Or if I dare to pick one it turns out to actually smell like the poor old pumpkin that has been on the porch since Halloween.

I’m not only like this with gifts for other people; I’m the same way with myself. I need quiet and instead I say “yes” to one more event on the calendar. I desperately want peace and instead make a to-do list so long it rivals Santa’s. I long for joy and yet I tell myself the holidays need to be perfect until I’m gritting my teeth and stress-eating candy canes leftover from last year. Ever been there?

So I, quite audaciously, decided to pause and intentionally ask this question: “What gift am I going to give myself this Christmas?”

I already have pink fuzzy socks and flannel pajama pants with hearts on them so I settled on this: Permission to rest.

What does rest look like to me? It’s the little things: a nap, a cup of tea, a few moments sitting with my husband on the couch, a cozy blanket, a “no” instead of “yes” sometimes, leftovers for dinner. And, perhaps most of all, giving the critical voice inside my head the holiday season off. I’m sending her somewhere sunny like Florida or the Caribbean or Australia. Anywhere that’s far enough away that I can’t hear her. A one-way ticket, I hope.

I used to think “rest” was selfish, but then two things happened:

I read a whole lot of research that showed happier people are more giving, kind and generous.

And a friend said something to me that I’ll never forget: “Sometimes rest is an act of worship.”

Both of these makes good sense to me. So I’m picking “permission to rest” as a gift to myself because I know if I do then this gift will ultimately be passed on to the people I love and the Savior I serve and this weary world.

I may never be the best gift-giver, but I’m slowly learning. Maybe next year I’ll even be brave enough to venture back into the candle aisle.

What gift would you like to give yourself this Christmas? I’d love for you to share your answer by leaving a comment on this post. (Subscribers, to leave a comment please click here to visit the blog post.)

XOXO

Holley

P.S. If you, like me, are challenged at picking gifts, then this might be helpful. If you order five copies of Fiercehearted from my bookstore, you’ll save $10 and also receive this Be Strong and Courageous necklace (while supplies last). You can find all the information right here.

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When you link up your post, take a moment to leave an encouraging comment on the one that’s linked up just before yours. Thanks, friends!

I’m having Coffee For Your Heart with my friend Holley Gerth!

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