{my graphics are free goodies for you}

The sky outside is a dense, soaked grey today. It reminds me of earlier this year when my husband and I watched from our living room window as menacing clouds rose up in the distance then stretched their fingers tentatively toward the ground. We live in tornado country and we don’t take such sights lightly. Flipping on the television, we heard the weatherman telling us to find a safe place as he pointed to splotches of red on the map. We went to our designated spot and took a moment to pray as the tree limbs began to sway outside.

The dark masses soon gave way to brilliant blue again. The wind quieted and we stepped back into the rhythm of our routine. It was not until hours later as I curled up in my cozy bed under a pile of warm blankets that it occurred to me to say “thank you” to God for what didn’t happen that day.

I mentally scrolled through the list of other disasters I’d narrowly missed in life. The bad-news boy I had a huge crush on as a teenager. The suspicious test results that worried the doctor but turned out to be nothing at all. The countless times I’ve asked God to keep my husband safe as he headed out for a bike ride and then watched him walk back through the door sweaty and smiling hours later.

And, yes, I understand that even if the storm wreaks havoc, the unwelcome diagnosis comes or the heart gets broken we are still to say thanks. I have experienced firsthand the mysterious, hard beauty that can come from tears and ashes. But the place where I seem to most often miss an opportunity to be grateful is when everything turns out fine and I just go on my merry way.

God invites us to say thanks then, too. First, simply because He is worthy of it. “Give thanks to the Lord for He is good” (Psalm 106:1). What He prevents in our lives is just as full of gifts as what He allows.

Also, this kind of gratitude can cure so much of our discontent. When I think of how I could be suddenly homeless after a storm, I smile a bit more at the roof over my head and don’t notice that stain in the carpet as much. When I recognize I might be in the hospital instead of sitting in a little coffee shop with my computer, it puts that envy-provoking picture on social media into proper perspective. When I think of all the turns my story could have taken, the rocky patches in the road of my relationships don’t seem quite as much like boulders.

This year as I sit down for Thanksgiving dinner I want to express my appreciation for all that’s right in front of me—good food, memories being made, dear friends and family. But I also want to thank God for all that isn’t there, for what could have been if things had gone another way or even if I had always gotten my way.

Yes, gratitude is about what we can see. But I’m learning it’s also about what, thankfully, will never be.

XOXO,

Holley

P.S. I’m incredibly grateful for you, friend! I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your loved ones. I’m saying a special thank you today that 17 girls were sponsored through Compassion International — by you! — for my 40th birthday. If you’re considering giving back this upcoming Giving Tuesday, I highly recommend sponsorship through Compassion. They are kindly still offering to send a free copy of my new book, Fiercehearted, to those who sponsor through this link. {The link may have trouble on mobile, but it opens easily when using a desktop!}

*****

Right now, we’re doing a special link-up series to celebrate Fiercehearted: Live Fully, Love Bravely. You’re a fiercehearted woman so I’m asking you to pour out a little love and courage with your words every Wednesday {the link-up goes live at 5:30am CST}. Simply write an encouraging blog post, especially if it’s about living fully and loving bravely, and then share it here. Don’t have a blog? You can still write an encouraging comment. If you’re reading this by email, go to holleygerth.com to see all the fun and join in too.

When you link up your post, take a moment to leave an encouraging comment on the one that’s linked up just before yours. Thanks, friends!

I’m having Coffee For Your Heart with my friend Holley Gerth!

{click to tweet that you’re joining me here today}

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{my graphics are free goodies for you}

Confession: Gratitude doesn’t come naturally to me. I can find the black-winged fly in the pristine white paint. I can sound like an old church organ, creaks and sighs and whines. I can make mental spreadsheets of disappointments like an accountant in a plaid tie.

Maybe I’m not the only one.

I have read about how our brains have a negativity bias. We look first for what’s wrong or a threat. This helps us survive. I am typing in a nicely lit, espresso-scented coffee shop. But should a zombie or deranged clown walk up to the counter and order a latte I would shift my attention immediately to this phenomenon.

What this means is that recognizing our blessings is learned behavior. A choice. And it’s one that takes some preparation. If we sit down at the turkey table on Thanksgiving and expect to immediately get into a grateful mood, we’re likely to be disappointed. Especially with the twins throwing peas and the dog barking and Uncle Erwin doing political commentary.

In an experiment, two groups of people were given a list of words. One had positive words and the other negative. They were then both given the exact same story about a man. A simple tale. When asked to describe this character afterward, can you guess which group was complimentary and which critical? It all depended on what they’d recently been thinking about.

In other words, we prime our minds by what we put into them. Our perspective on our experiences is, at least in part, predetermined. Perhaps Paul understood that when he said, “Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise” (Php. 4:8).

And because of this, I’d like us to do a little experiment of our own: Let’s start giving thanks now so that we really are ready for Thanksgiving this year. What’s below is a quick and simple countdown that we can go through ahead of time . . .

Day 1 – Who in your life are you thankful for? Think of at least one person.

Day 2 – What is a memory that brings you joy? Look back and see God’s goodness in it all over again.

Day 3 – How have you seen God answer your prayers this year? Pause and reflect on one “yes” you are living in now.

Day 4 – When do you feel joy? Pay extra attention to one happy little moment in your day.

Day 5 – Where can you see God’s hand in your life? Consider one way He is taking care of you.

Day 6 – Why did Jesus come for us? Revisit His extraordinary love.

Day 7 – Give thanks for all of the above.

We can simply ponder these questions or pull out a pen to make it official. We don’t have to feel guilty if thankfulness doesn’t come easily. God knows we’re human and He loves us that way. He’s the Giver of all good things — including the grace we need on the days when our attitude tries to compete with our gratitude.

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! His love endures forever (Psalm 136:1).

XOXO

Holley Gerth

P.S. If you get stuck, pie usually helps too. The kind with whipped cream and a crumbly crust. This is my emergency back-up plan: If you can’t make anything nice come out of your mouth then put something in it.

P.P.S. My 40th birthday is next week {woo-hoo!} and hopefully by now you’ve heard: the gift I want most is for 40 little girls in poverty to grow up to be fiercehearted women. Thank you to each one of you who have sponsored through the Fiercehearted link! If you’re still considering it, I invite you to learn more through this link so that if you sponsor a child, you’ll receive a FREE copy of Fiercehearted!

*****

Right now, we’re doing a special link-up series to celebrate Fiercehearted: Live Fully, Love Bravely. You’re a fiercehearted woman so I’m asking you to pour out a little love and courage with your words every Wednesday {the link-up goes live at 5:30am CST}. Simply write an encouraging blog post, especially if it’s about living fully and loving bravely, and then share it here. Don’t have a blog? You can still write an encouraging comment. If you’re reading this by email, go to holleygerth.com to see all the fun and join in too.

When you link up your post, take a moment to leave an encouraging comment on the one that’s linked up just before yours. Thanks, friends!

I’m having Coffee For Your Heart with my friend Holley Gerth!

{click to tweet that you’re joining me here today}