{my graphics are free goodies for you}

I woke not to the sound of the alarm clock but lies ringing in my ears…

You’re not good enough.

You don’t have what it takes.

You’re going to let people down.

I wished for an emotional snooze button. In the absence of such a solution, I rolled over and tapped my husband on the shoulder. “I need to go for a walk,” I said.

Outside the grass was still wet, the sky blue, the new morning clean like a baby fresh out of the bath. I decided to tell my husband about the lies my heart kept hearing. Sometimes when you say such things out loud it’s like taking a pin to a balloon. In an instant it’s clear there’s nothing to it, just empty air.

But on this day the opposite happened. Instead of feeling relief I started ugly crying. Right there in the middle of the walking trail. In front of the row of houses with the big windows. The ones whose occupants like to post photos of unusual happenings on the neighborhood Facebook page.

I didn’t know what to do and the tears wouldn’t stop, so I just took off.

Now, I am not a graceful athlete on my best days. I run like a motivated duck. I sweat like I’ve just climbed out of a pond. Add the ugly cry and let’s just say you’re not going to see that photo on the back of a book. I felt just as messy on the inside, entirely undone, beyond the realm of reason or religious clichés.

Yet into that space came one simple phrase, “Jesus loves me, this I know.” I couldn’t think of anything else. It was all I had, all I knew for sure. I started emphasizing a different word with each step…

JESUS loves me this I know.

Jesus LOVES me this I know.

Jesus loves ME this I know.

And somehow, somewhere deep inside those words to a simple children’s song began to restore my sanity.

The world might tell me that I just needed more self-esteem to defeat those lies, to calm my racing heart. But what I needed, most of all, was to simply remember that I have a Savior. That I always have been and always will be loved just as I am.

That’s true in the moments when I ugly cry. In the ones when I let the worst of the lies get the best of me. Also in the entirely different ones when I share my heart in front of a crowd and the applause rolls across the room like gentle thunder (as it would at the speaking event later that night).

My husband caught up with me on the trail (it’s not hard to catch a sweaty duck). He hugged me and walked me home. Once we got there I sat on the edge of the bed, right by the spot where I’d woken up to the loud lies not long before. I didn’t hear them anymore.

Sometimes I think I need to know everything. But I’m finding, more often than not, what I really need is to remember one thing…

Jesus loves me this I know.

XOXO

Holley Gerth

p.s. I have a new devotional releasing September 18th called Hope Your Heart Needs: 52 Encouraging Reminders of How God Cares for You. I’m so excited about it! Each day talks about a different characteristic of who God is and how He loves us. Writing this book changed my life and I truly believe reading it will change yours. It’s available for preorder. And here’s a free excerpt.

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You’re invited to join the “Let’s Have Coffee” link-up! Simply write a post that has the kind of encouragement you’d share with a friend over coffee (the link-up goes live at 5:30am CT every Wednesday, and you can view the Link-Up Guidelines here). Don’t have a blog? You can still write an encouraging comment. If you’re reading this by email, go to holleygerth.com to see all the fun and join in too.

After you link-up your post, take a moment to leave an encouraging comment on the one that’s linked just before yours. Thanks, friends!

{Want to share a word of encouragement on Twitter? Click this link and then tweet!}

The laundry is still unfolded, the emails unanswered, the to-do list undone. I sigh and ask, “Have I been productive at all today?”

Anxiety and accusations are the only response. So I pray, “God, what lie am I believing? And what’s the truth that replaces it?” This is a new habit I’m practicing. It’s uncomfortable and hard.

Yet in that quiet moment it seems my heart hears a reassuring whisper…

Life isn’t about being productive. It’s about being purposeful.

 {my graphics are free goodies for you}

I’ve often believed the lie that God’s first priority is what I can produce: a basket of neatly folded laundry, a dozen email responses, a to-do list with check marks. But the truth is there are things that matter just as much or more. Like feeding my granddaughter waffles while she giggles in her high chair, going for a walk with my husband on a blue-sky summer afternoon, brainstorming an idea that may never turn into anything.

Just because something doesn’t have tangible results doesn’t mean it doesn’t have eternal impact.

I’m no longer going to ask myself, “Have I been productive today?” Instead I’m going to ask, “Have I been purposeful?” To me that simply means living in love. Sometimes love looks like laundry and answering email and checking off what’s on my list. Those are good and worthy things. But often it looks like the exact opposite, like we’ve done “nothing” at all. And that’s okay too.

Our work doesn’t determine our worth. Our accomplishments don’t earn us God’s acceptance. Our value isn’t validated by our hustle. We are already and always loved. 

Whew. I needed to remember that today. You too? Now I’ve got some laundry to do…

XOXO
Holley

P.S. If you liked this post you might love You’re Already Amazing. Want a preview of the book? Here’s a free chapter.

*****

You’re invited to join the “Let’s Have Coffee” link up! Simply write a post that has the kind of encouragement you’d share with a friend over coffee and then add it here (the link up goes live at 5:30am CT every Wednesday). Don’t have a blog? You can still write an encouraging comment. If you’re reading this by email, go to holleygerth.com to see all the fun and join in too. 

When you link up your post, take a moment to leave an encouraging comment on the one that’s linked up just before yours. Thanks, friends!

{Want to share a word of encouragement on Twitter? Click this link and then tweet!}