(in)courage Archives - Holley Gerth

Your Generation is Needed Here

I’m attending a tea party in the Fellowship Hall of a small town church about an hour from my home. This is where my parents had their wedding reception, where my grandparents had their fiftieth anniversary party, where my great-grandparents held hands in the pews.

Today the tables are covered in white linen and each place setting includes a vintage china cup, the kind that tempts you to stick your pinky out when you drink from it. The hostesses of this gathering are the lovely members of my Grandma’s Sunday School class, most of whom are now in their eighties.

There is one guest who is a distinct exception to this age range. My granddaughter, Ellie, is here with her Mama and I. She’s wearing a pink bow and charming everyone. At some point I realize five generations of my family are represented. This is beautiful to me.

“For the Lord is good, and his faithful love endures forever; his faithfulness, through all generations.” (Psalm 100:5, CSB)

A couple weeks later I find myself in a room full of diverse ages again. My friend Jennifer Watson, a local pastor’s wife, youth director and soon-to-be-author has organized an event. She’s seen how we can tend to silo ourselves according to age and she’s calling for an end to it, for a coming together across seasons and decades.

The women who are gathered are not family in the physical sense (but then neither is mine—our daughter became ours when she was twenty-one) but we are connected by a different kind of blood. We are sisters and daughters and mamas in Jesus.

Jennifer starts with a word to the senior sisters among us. “We need you,” she says, “You still have so much to offer. It’s never too late for God to use you.” I echo that wholeheartedly—please know we long for your presence and hard-won wisdom. It’s so much harder to walk well without someone going before us.

To those of us in the middle I’d say, “Let’s not miss the divine hidden among the mundane and ordinary. We can touch a life whether we’re holding a microphone or warming up mac-and-cheese in the microwave. Let’s show up where we are, as we are, steadily and faithfully. What’s visible isn’t more valuable.”

To those younger I’d declare, “It’s never too early for God to use you either. Don’t wait to feel ready. We need your optimism and energy, your fresh perspective and your daring. If you received something yesterday—even five minutes ago—then you have something to give to someone else.”

I’m falling in love in a new way with the idea of generations–with the beauty and strength we have when we link arms and stand side-by-side like a glorious timeline of God’s love. Together we can look back with gratefulness for what God has done and look forward with anticipation for what He has yet to do. And we can each choose to make a difference where we are now, in the season we’re living today, in the kitchen or the boardroom, at Tribal Night or a tea party.

This is what my heart understands better each year, what I want to pass on, what I believe: We all have something to offer. We all have something to receive. We are better together.

Today, I’m over at (in)courage. If you’d like to leave a comment on this post, I invite you to click on this link to join me there.

Hope When We’re Living a Hard Story

by Holley

I’ll celebrate my daughter’s birthday tomorrow. This might seem like a fairly ordinary occurrence. But it’s not to me. Because this is the girl God gave us after almost a decade of infertility. You can read our story here, but the short version is we met when Lovelle was twenty, she became ours at twenty-one and tomorrow she will blow out twenty-five candles on her cake.

Because God is extravagant in His goodness, I’m not only a Mama now but also a Nana. Lovelle and her husband welcomed baby Eula Ellen (nicknamed “Ellie”) into their lives last August. God is in the details because August 28th is the day Lovelle officially took our last name. We call it “Gerth Day” and treat it like a holiday in our family. Ellie came on Gerth Day.

A few months after Ellie arrived, Lovelle and I were standing in the kitchen at my house. She asked, tentatively, “Does being around Ellie make you wish you had a baby of your own?”

I didn’t hesitate with my answer, “If God told me I could go back in time and choose to have a baby of my own or have grown-up you again, I’d pick you in a second. I wouldn’t even have to think about it.” This is the gut-honest truth. This is redemption. This is God doing heart-healing in ways I never knew were possible until I lived it.

I share this because you may be coming up on a milestone too. Only you may not be on the other side of the answered prayers yet. You may still be in the ugly-cry-in-the-bathroom, stare-at-the-negative-pregnancy-test part of the journey. Or you could be experiencing another kind of barrenness in your life—a door to a job that just won’t open, a relationship that seems to have no life left in it, a dream that seems to be slipping away forever.

If so I want to whisper, so gently, don’t give up yet. I will never, ever tell you not to cry or rant or hide under the covers when you need to. Feel all the feelings. Say all the things. Just know that underneath all of that there can still be hope. God isn’t finished with your story yet.

It turns out Lovelle is a writer and speaker too. She said this in a blog post: “As I find myself looking back on my past and all the things that have happened to me, I can’t help but wonder why things had to go the way they did…. Are you frustrated with the way your life is looking right now? Are you losing your grasp on contentment? Are you trying to read too much into how God is working in your life? I want you to know that God doesn’t waste anything. Even if you are doing something you feel is useless, God has a plan and it will come to pass. That’s the promise I am believing today and my prayer is that you do the same.”

Yes, tomorrow I will celebrate my daughter’s birthday. I will celebrate the beautiful, kind, strong young woman I waited on for so many years. I will celebrate the family God has given us. I will celebrate the God who knows the desires of our hearts even better than we do, who is still writing all our stories in wild and mysterious ways today.

Happy Birthday, Lovelle. You will always be one of the best gifts God has ever given me.

XOXO,
Holley

P.S. Would you like to celebrate Lovelle’s birthday with our family? One way you can do so is by joining us in partnering with Compassion International to empower little girls in poverty to grow up to be fiercehearted women.

P.P.S. These words are from today’s (in)courage blog post. If you’d like to leave a comment for me or Lovelle, please click here and we’ll be sure to read your comments there!

What Our Hearts Need When We Mess Up

by Holley

{my graphics are free goodies for you}

I sit across from a friend who knows me well. We’ve walked together for more than a decade. My eyes are tear-filled as I look at her and say, “I messed up.” I tell her of how I have failed in an area that has been an off-and-on battle in my life for years.

We all have one don’t we? I call it our “Signature Struggle.” It’s the choice or habit or escape we go back to even though we know better. We swear we’ll never do that again—eat the whole pan of brownies or snap at the kids or drain the drink. But then we’re tired or stressed or overwhelmed and, suddenly, we do. No, sister, it isn’t just you. It’s all of us—every wandering, beating heart on this planet.

When I give in to my Signature Struggle the critical voices in my mind are so loud: God will never use you now. You’re a hypocrite. You said you’d never do this again and now here you are. You’re a failure.

On this morning as I sit with my friend I think she should tell me the same. She should rebuke me and give me a Bible study to do immediately. She should issue a public announcement about my behavior so that others will be warned. Instead she comes to sit beside me. She leans in and puts both arms around my shoulders. She says, so gently, “Don’t let the shame win. Don’t give the enemy that victory.”

She knows me well. She understands that I will recover from my misstep. I will get up and try again in the area of my Signature Struggle. I will make progress and move forward. I will learn from this mistake. What she’s most concerned about, what could be like a deadly viper sinking its fangs into my ankles, is letting the shame take hold. She’s seen what happens, how I pull back and hide.

She wisely understands what the enemy is really after is not simply to make us sin—the cross has already taken care of that—it’s to make us abandon our identity. It’s to convince us we cannot be both imperfect and loved at the same time. It’s to tempt us to believe our worst moments define us.

The enemy of our hearts would always rather have us embrace shame and guilt instead of grace. Because grace is what transforms us, what brings us out of hiding, what gives us the courage to keep trying. It is the superpower that defeats our Signature Struggle, that snaps the fangs of the serpent. As I share in You’re Loved No Matter What, “God wants to use the places where you’ve experienced the most shame to bring Him glory.”

Friends, I invite you to click over to (in)courage to continue reading this blog post…

We Don’t Have to Go So Fast

by Holley

“I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” Philippians 3:12-14, NLT

I still have to remind myself over and over of a basic principle when I’m working out: Holley, today you can go farther or you can go faster. But you cannot do both. When you’re running, that’s usually the choice. And in life it is too.

So if we plan to do something not for a while but for as long as we can because we love it, feel called to it, and the touch of heaven is on it, then sprinting is not the solution. Instead, let’s live and work like we’re going the distance.

I share in Fiercehearted that this means intentionally choosing a different pace. It means showing up over and over. It means letting people pass us. It means refusing to give in to the fear that we should always be doing more and instead continuing to faithfully, unglamorously do what matters most.

This makes no sense in our instant world. It’s upside down in the time of social media updates. It seems less sexy and exciting than the fast and the fancy. But it’s reassuring too, isn’t it? To know we don’t have to push so hard. We don’t have to go big or go home. We can just be obedient and leave the results to God.

I hope sometimes we get to go fast. That there are moments with the wind in our hair, the hearts in our chests pumping wildly, and the ground a blur beneath our feet. But I’m asking Jesus even more that we go far. That we make it around all the bends in the road. Watch the leaves turn from green to amber gold. Have like-hearted companions with us. Take the next step, then the next step, all the way.

Let’s keep running our race at our pace. We’re doing better than we know. See you at the finish.

XOXO

Holley Gerth

P.S. Want more encouragement for your journey? Join Holley for the free Fiercehearted Fall Study on Facebook.

P.P.S. This post is also over on (in)courage this week. If you’d like to leave a comment, you can click here to do so.

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I Want to Be This Kind of Woman

by Holley 15 Comments

We are women and this is a powerful thing. It is an echo of God’s heart and a display of His glory. He speaks this world into being—let there be light—but when He makes woman, it’s intimate and personal.

Imagine the scene. Adam drifting off to sleep in the sunlight, the whisper of God’s footsteps on the grass, the bend of His knees as He reaches down. He touches Adam’s side, the place closest to his heart, and takes hold of a rib. Perhaps the animals gather to watch. A porcupine with sharp quills who’s trying not to be socially awkward sits next to a chubby panda having another afternoon snack, while a squirrel deliriously runs circles around them all.

Then a hush comes as the Artist begins to work. He stretches the rib out long and adds curves and flesh and eyelashes. Yes, a freckle just above her lip, a wrinkle on her elbow, a softness in the palms of her hands, and a strength between her shoulder blades.

I think God smiles.

Soon all that beauty will be marred with sin like spitballs on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. He will curse her. He will not give up on her. And later a Messiah will set her free. But even after that the woman circles the borders of Eden, never completely reclaiming the truth. She forgets her story. The people around her tell her different versions. The world is a web of lies and she is the butterfly with paper wings struggling in the corner.

She doesn’t see she is lovely. She becomes untethered from the fierceness inside her. She tries on shoes like Cinderella in yoga pants and eats leftover cookies alone in the middle of the night and sees the plastic surgeon for one more touch-up, the knife splitting her skin’s surface like the hurt splits her soul. Or she hides and tries very hard to be very good. She joins every committee and says yes to bathing one hundred poodles for charity and grows dim in the flicker of the television light.

And all the while, the One who made her is calling her back, still walking in the garden of her heart in the cool of the day and saying, “I am with you.” He offers what she longs for most—for Him to tell her who she really is, to whisper in her ear that He has made her funny and wise and strong and brave. That she is tender and resilient and complex and wonder-filled. She is mystery and unveiling. She is salty tears and the sweat at the finish line and the lioness in the corner office and lullabies in the night. She is not an afterthought; she has been an essential part of the plan all along.

Somewhere a snake hisses and a Savior on a cross declares, “It is finished.” The curtain splits and the curse breaks and the promise of Eden comes back to us. All the sisters and the daughters and the mamas say, “Amen.” Redemption joyfully roars back, “You are a woman.” It echoes through the ages.

When I listen closely, I can hear it still.

XOXO,

Holley

P.S. This post is an excerpt from my new book Fiercehearted: Live Fully, Love Bravely and is also up at (in)courage today. If you preorder a copy, please be sure to submit your receipt to receive several free gifts! I’d also love to invite you to join me for the free Fiercehearted Fall Study! The online study will kick off on October 3rd, launch day. There will be exclusive videos, discussions about the book, giveaways, and more. Nearly 2,000 women participated in the last study {and books sold out from several retailers}. Preorder Fiercehearted now to be sure you have your copy in time—plus you’ll get the free gifts!

P.P.S. If you’re in Northwest Arkansas or close by {OK, MO, KS, TX–I’m talking to you!} I’d love to see you at the Fiercehearted Launch Party on October 3rd! {A special segment of the Launch Party will be shared via live video in the Fiercehearted Fall Study.}

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From August 16th through October we’re doing a special link-up series to celebrate Fiercehearted: Live Fully, Love Bravely {launching October 3rd!} You’re a fiercehearted woman so I’m asking you to pour out a little love and courage with your words every Wednesday {the link-up goes live at 5:30am CST}. Simply write an encouraging blog post, especially if it’s about living fully and loving bravely, and then share it here. Don’t have a blog? You can still write an encouraging comment. If you’re reading this by email, go to holleygerth.com to see all the fun and join in too.

Pretty please use this button in your blog post so others can easily join in with us {the html code is in the right sidebar of my main blog page}. And when you link up your post, take a moment to leave an encouraging comment on the one that’s linked up just before yours. Thanks, friends!

I’m having Coffee For Your Heart with my friend Holley Gerth!

{click to tweet that you’re joining me here today}

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