The Rest of Your Story

There's something about face-to-face, neck-hugging, shoulder-crying, loud-laughing times that make all seem right in the world again.

I've spent the last few days at the Blissdom conference in Nashville. That's where Dawn Camp snapped this fun photo of Stephanie and I.

I saw many of the (in)courage writers, connected with people from twitter, and made new friends too.

And I thought of you.

Because I connected with most of these women online first. And I can tell you, the bonds we're forming on these pages are real, strong, life-changing and true.

Yesterday morning Robin hosted a prayer party. We circled up, bowed heads, talked to Jesus together, prayed for each other. And it made me want to do the same here. After all, we may not have met face-to-face yet but we've shared heart-to-heart. 

I had another post ready for today and it's late at night as I'm typing. In five hours I'll get up to catch a plane. But I'm here instead because this matters.

And I've realized all over again…

Our stories are incomplete without each other.  

So how can we pray for you today? Let us know by leaving a comment. Before you post your words, take a moment to pray for the last person on the comment list.

Let's circle up, bow heads, talk to the One who brought us to each other.

And whether here or in heaven, I look forward to a face-to-face, neck-hugging, shoulder-crying, loud-laughing time with you.

To let us know how we can pray for you, click here.

p.s. The comment link on yesterday's post is fixed & you can leave yours now.  

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To start from part one, click here.

Skill: A strength expressed in a specific way that builds up others and benefits the Kingdom.

Now that you know your strengths, what do you do with them? Chances are, you're already doing something. Strengths are made to be expressed. We call those expressions skills.

Skills can get overlooked. Besides being made fun of in Napoleon Dynamite (okay, that was pretty hilarious), they can sometimes seem not-as-spiritual.

For example, you might wonder, "How does something like cooking help the Kingdom?" (Besides potlucks,which are the best sort of goodness this side of heaven.)

In the DaySpring creative area, this verse stayed on the wall for many years…

I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability and knowledge in all kinds of crafts. Exodus 31:3

This verse reveals that God's hand is in our skills, in the ordinary things we do. And they matter. A lot. We don't all have the same skills. For example, the "all kinds of crafts" part doesn't quite fit me. (I am not allowed to use hot glue guns for reasons that shall remain unsaid.) 

To help us figure out our skills, I've got another list. Take a look…

Download Skills List

Skills Circles can be a fun way to connect strengths with skills. Draw a circle and write a strength in the middle. Then draw small circles around the edge and write related skills in them. Here's a personal example…

 
 
The size of the circle is related to how much we express that strength through the skill. For example, I write a lot more than I speak.

Have fun with this! Doodle, put these in your journal, write them on napkins next time you're stuck on a plane. This isn't meant to be a big project, just a little tool.

We usually express the same core strength in many different ways. That reveals a lot about who we are and what God has called us to do in our story.

Watch out world, we've got skills and we're not afraid to use them.

(Except for the hot glue gun. I'm still not going there. You fabulously talented crafty people handle that one for me, okay?)

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TODAY'S QUESTION: What are some of your skills?

Every comment during the challenge = an entry for $50 to DaySpring.com, including the (in)courage shop!

To Post Your Comment, Click Here *This works now!

Are you a blogger? Every Friday we'll have a "Rest of Your Story" round-up! 

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To start from part one, click here.

Strength: a personal characteristic that can be used on behalf of God in service to others.

To find the core strengths in your story, download the list and find the words that most apply to you.

Download Strengths List

Then put them through the S.T.R.E.N.G.T.H. Test…

Service – Does it help me serve God and others?

Time – Has it been present throughout much of my life?

Relationships – Do others see this?

Energy – Do I feel energized when I'm living this way?

Natural – Does this come naturally to me most of the time? OR do I know God has intentionally developed this in me even though it doesn't?

Glory – Does God ultimately get the glory from it?

Trials – Even in hard times, does it usually come through somehow?

Heart – Does this really feel like a core part of who I am?

* Does it feel strange to talk about your strengths? Read Part 21. 

Are you doing the 10 Minute Catch Up Plan? Comment below then find your skills.

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TODAY'S QUESTION: What are some of your strengths?

Every comment during the challenge = an entry for $50 to DaySpring.com, including the (in)courage shop!

To Post Your Comment, Click Here

Are you a blogger? Every Friday we'll have a "Rest of Your Story" round-up! 

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REST OF YOUR STORY ROUND-UP! Woo-hoo!

If you wrote a post on your blog this week about the rest of your story, just add your link to the list on today's post. We'll get to visit you and you'll get an extra entry for the giveaway!

Subscribe by Email – It's FREE!

To start from part one, click here.

When I began this series, I knew one post would be about our strengths. They're essential to our stories.

But I avoided it. Why?

The "good Christian girl" voice inside kept saying, "But that's not humble."

Finally, I had a little chat with her…

"Girl, what's your definition of 'humility'?"

"Being insecure, thinking everyone else is better than you."

Something about that didn't sound quite right. So I decided to check out God's definition of humility. And the happy tears started.  

Y'all, "good Christian girl" may be a sweetheart but she is so wrong on this one.

Get ready, I'm about to go Greek on you. And I thought that was done when I graduated college (Zeta-woot!).

Moving along…Most of the time, the word "humility" is from the Hebrew word "Kana" which implies submission to another's will.

In the New Testament, it's a Greek word formed from two others – "Tapeinos" (low to the ground) and "Phren" (our hearts/minds). Put all of that together and humility means bowing our hearts to God.

Or in other words, submitting to His will. And what is His will? That we agree with what He says and live out…including what He says about us.

He says we're loved, accepted, and wonderfully made in a way that's just right for His purposes to be fulfilled in our lives.

And what does God do after we humble ourselves before him?

Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift you up. James 4:10

Here's the process: We come before God and say, "I bow my heart before you in love. I embrace that you are God and I am not. All I am, all I have is yours."

Then He takes our hearts by the hand, lifts us up, and says, "Stand tall, my daughter. You are loved. You are of great worth. Do my will."

(When our hearts beat with God's, then we also stay in rythm with others and "love them as ourselves." Speaking unkindly about each other or ourselves is the same in His eyes. Either way, one of His girls gets hurt.) 

Whew, who could use a chocolate break right now?

It's time to see ourselves differently in our stories. We're going to look at our strengths tomorrow. For today, enjoy a big, gooey, wonderful piece of humble pie. With whipped cream AND a cherry. Yes, ma'am.

It just may be the sweetest thing you've ever tasted.

p.s. If this message connected with you like it did with me, will you consider serving up some humble pie to the women in your lives by sharing it? 

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TODAY'S QUESTION: What's your heart saying in response?

Every comment during the challenge = an entry for $50 to DaySpring.com, including the (in)courage shop!

To Post Your Comment, Click Here

Are you a blogger? Every Friday we'll have a "Rest of Your Story" round-up! 

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It's a junior high lunch table. We eavesdrop on giggly girls…

"My boyfriend is captain of the football team."

"I found THE COOLEST JEANS last weekend!"

"I got an A on the Science test."

Is anyone else's heart racing just thinking about being back there. Good grief.

Okay, I've regained my composure. The point is that as women we compare. A lot.

We tend to berate ourselves for this tendency. But really, I just think it's part of how we're wired.

Women were created by God to be inherently relational. This means we're always checking in, asking ourselves, "How's she doing? How's she doing? How's SHE doing?"

This is a reflection of our tender hearts and compassionate natures. It's a beautiful thing that makes us excellent mamas, wives, and friends.

Where we get tripped up is when we follow that first question with, "How am I doing compared with her?"

Hold up. That's not helpful.

If we fall short, then we're insecure.

If we're doing better, then we're prideful.

If her life seems harder, then we don't feel entitled to our pain.

God's answer? Focus on your own story.

In a biblical passage I find a bit funny (it's okay to think that, right?), Jesus and Peter are having a heart-to-heart. Another disciple walks up and in his typical style, Peter asks, "What about him, Lord?" Jesus has an even better question, "What is that to you?" And then, "As for you, follow me." (John 21)

Your story belongs to you. God doesn't compare it (or you) to anyone else and you don't have to either.

Big sigh of relief.

So as write the rest of our stories together (and live them out with others), let's go for these three steps: share, care, prayer. And skip the compare.

(Unless you get THE COOLEST JEANS on sale. Comparing prices totally doesn't count. You'd better reveal the deal, sister. I'm just saying…)

p.s. I'm leaving today for Blissdom, a blogging conference in Nashville. I'm so excited about seeing some of you in person! It does tend to bring out those Junior High insecurities, so I'd appreciate your prayers. (: I'll be praying for you too! Did you see my prayer for you yesterday?

There will still be new posts each day and I'll be checking in!

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TODAY'S QUESTION: What is God doing in YOUR story right now?

To Post Your Comment, Click Here

Every comment during the challenge = an entry for $50 to DaySpring.com, including the (in)courage shop!

Are you a blogger? Every Friday we'll have a "Rest of Your Story" round-up! 

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To start from part one, click here.

Some of you are saying, "I want to go in new directions but I don't know how to move on from the past." I've read your comments. All of them.

In the Meaningful Memories post many of you mentioned it was hard to find even one good memory. I left a comment for you too…

"For those of you who said it can be hard to find a happy memory…you are so right. Hurt seems to stay right there on the surface. Digging through it to the joy takes a lot of work! I am sorry for the heartache you've endured.

I wish I could take each 'little girl you' in my arms today. I would set you on my lap, look into your beautiful eyes, and tell you…

'This is never how God intended it to be. You are loved, chosen, cherished, wanted, of great worth, and you will amount to MUCH in His Kingdom.' "

We live in a fallen world. None of our stories are as they should be, some more than others. I wish I could make healing happen right here, right now. As you already know, it's a journey far more complicated than a blog post. 

As I thought of you, my eyes drifted to my bookshelf. And I want to share several books that have helped in my personal healing…

Making Peace with Your Past by H. Norman Wright

Recovering from Losses in Life by H. Norman Wright

Changes that Heal by Dr. Henry Cloud

Life's Healing Choices by John Baker

Breaking Free by Beth Moore

Rain on Me by Holley Gerth  

(I wrote this book out of my ongoing journey of loss. It's about healing in the middle of the storm, even if you don't know when blue skies are coming.)

Whether your hurts are recent (like mine) or from many years ago, God cares.

It's a bit of a cliché but still too true not to say…

He really does want to transform our history into HIS STORY.

Today the next S.T.E.P. for all of us is just whispering a ten word prayer, "A little more healing, Lord, a little more healing today…."

I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland…so my chosen people can be refreshed. – God, Isaiah 43

** If the hurts in your history are interfering with your daily life I would encourage you to seek out a trusted counselor. (I have several times!) To find one, visit The American Association of Christian Counselors e-counseling site.

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TODAY'S QUESTION: What has helped bring healing to your history?

Every comment during the challenge = an entry for $50 to DaySpring.com, including the (in)courage shop!

To Post Your Comment, Click Here

Are you a blogger? Every Friday we'll have a "Rest of Your Story" round-up! 

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To start from part one, click here.

I'm saying something scandalous…

You don't have to have goals.

In fact, I think they sometimes distract from what matters most.

Disclaimer: If goals work for you and fit with who God made you, go for it!

For the rest of us, let's talk about Directions.

What if we said, "My heart says God is asking me to go in the direction of ___________________ (being healthier, writing a book, changing jobs, etc.)"? Then we can figure out S.T.E.P.s  to go there.

Suddenly it's about the journey rather than the destination. And that gives us more room to follow God's leading. On the way to the Promised Land the Israelites "traveled and camped wherever the Lord told them to go." The most important part wasn't getting there…it was obedience.

I love this verse from Proverbs, "The way of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, which shines ever brighter until the full light of day." There's always going to be more growth, change, ground to cover, story to be written.

Sometimes we have the illusion that we can arrive. Shocker: We can't this side of heaven. Embracing that lets us receive grace and celebrate where we are now–loved, accepted, and well on our way.

Life, and our story, is a journey.

Let's ask God for directions.

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TODAY'S QUESTION: What's one "direction" you'd like to go in?

To Post Your Comment, Click Here *This link works now!

Every comment during the 21-day challenge = an entry for $50 to DaySpring.com, including the (in)courage shop!

Are you a blogger? Every Friday we'll have a "Rest of Your Story" round-up! 

Subscribe by Email – It's FREE!

To start from part one, click here.

I am a biker chick. Okay, okay, I'm not cool enough to be one. Sigh.

But thanks to my man, I do have a cool bicycle. When I got my bike, I rode it in the same gear, at the same speed, all the time.

It was exhausting.

My husband finally said "Girl, you've got to learn to coast. Push hard on the hills and then get your strength back going down."

And just like that, God spoke to my heart too.

I tend to ride life in the same gear, at the same speed, all the time.

And it's exhausting.

Also, it's not going to work out well for my story. Halfway through it's going to say, "And she would have lived mostly happily ever after… but she wore herself out and sat on the couch eating twinkies the rest of her days."

Ridiculous, you say? You're right. I don't even like twinkies. I'd eat jars of nutella.

Back to our stories! The whole point is that God designed us to have times of "coasting." He gave us different gears on purpose. In particular, He gave us the gift of a Sabbath. That's the best example of "coasting".

I also "coast" when I read a good book, exercise, have coffee with a friend, pick up around the house (weird, huh?), take a long nap, go on a vacation, write and watch the snow fall outside (what I'm doing now!).

"Coasting" looks different for all of us. I don't like watching TV very much. I get stressed and think the world is going to end. For my husband, TV is relaxing.

At the end of our bike ride I asked him, "So what's the point of coasting anyway?"

"It gives you momentum for the next hill."

Ah, yes, of course.

It gives us strength for the next chapter in our stories too. 

p.s. Want someone to pray for you today? The (in)courage community will…

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TODAY'S QUESTION: How do you "coast"? I need your help, girls! (:

To Post Your Comment, Click Here

Every comment during the 21-day challenge = an entry for $50 to Dayspring.com, including the (in)courage shop!

Are you a blogger? Every Friday we'll have a "Rest of Your Story" round-up! Just answer any of the questions for the week as a post on your blog, include a link to this series, then add your blog to the list on Friday. We'll get to visit you and you'll get another entry in the giveaway! Did you see last week's?

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To start from part one, click here.

When you think of writing MY LIFE STORY it seems big and scary. Yes? Let's simplify it. 

Stories are just a series of experiences. And memories are just stored experiences. And experiences are really all about our senses.

Research has shown the strongest memories involve all five senses. In other words, God has physically wired us so that our senses are connected to our minds and emotions.

So don't start your story with, "I was born…." Rather, close your eyes and think of a meaningful experience. While you'll have hard ones, let's start with the happy.

Okay, got one in mind?

Now go through your five senses and write down one line for each. Let's try it together. One of the first things that comes to mind for me is sitting in the back of my grandparents' Christian bookstore as a child.

Sight – I see stacks of books I've gathered, my Grandma turning to smile at me.

Sound – I hear Christian music playing and the quiet chatter of customers.

Touch – I feel smooth pages and the softness of an old leather chair.

Taste – I taste a slightly stale doughnut, leftover from that morning.

Smell – I smell the loveliest mixture ever…paper, coffee, and Nana's lotion.

(Okay, I'm in bittersweet tears! Whew!)

Now ask yourself one question: Why is this experience important to my story? My answer would be, "Because I fell in love with Jesus and books in that back room and both have shaped who I am today."

Now you've got something really valuable. Compare that to what you might write without your senses: My grandparents owned a Christian bookstore and I spent hours in the back reading.

Flat. Empty. Just the facts, ma'am.

You don't need to record every moment you've lived. Just find the pulse. Every meaningful memory is a heartbeat in your story. Repeat this as many times as you'd like. Keep using single sentences or make paragraphs. Create a collection of individual memories or join them together as a book. Do whatever brings you the most joy.

And as for the rest of your story…

It works the same way. But instead of picturing the past, you're imagining the future. As Proverbs says, "As a (wo)man thinks in her heart, so is she." Don't be afraid to do a little dreaming with God. Then you can figure out S.T.E.P.s  with Him to go in that direction.

With every heartbeat, your story is already being written.

All you've got to do is put it into words.

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TODAY'S QUESTION: What's a meaningful memory in your story?

To Post Your Comment, Click Here

Every comment during the 21-day challenge = an entry for $50 to DaySpring.com, including the (in)courage shop!

Are you a blogger? Every Friday we'll have a "Rest of Your Story" round-up! Just answer any of the questions for the week as a post on your blog, include a link to this series, then add your blog to the list on Friday. We'll get to visit you and you'll get another entry in the giveaway! Did you see last week's?

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To start from part one, click here.

When my husband and I vacation, we walk everywhere.

There's a moment when I panic a little–usually when my husband pulls out the map and cheerfully says, "Let's go here, here, and here." And I reply, "That's a looonnnggg way. Can't we just go to Starbuck's?"

But we set out…and by the end of the day we've made it and I'm happy. I've learned the trick is not giving in to that moment when the journey, the story, seems like too much. Just start with one step.

Small – The tinier the better. We tell ourselves we've got to do something amazing right now…ignore that voice.

Tangible - We're not trying to walk on air. "I want to be happy!" isn't a step. Choose something with results.

Easy – Yep, not only small but easy. If it can happen in five minutes or less, you get bonus points.

Positive – The whole point is going forward. Now isn't the time for, "I'm going to stop…X" Focus on what you'll do instead.

A S.T.E.P. might be making a phone call, getting a book, writing something down, exercising for two minutes, reconnecting with a friend, leaving a comment, anything that moves you forward.  

(Okay, I am totally cracking up right now because I'm picturing Bill Murray in "What about Bob?" saying, 'Baby steps, baby steps.' Has anyone else seen that movie? If so, you have my full permission to laugh with/at me right now!)

We tend to picture God as being there for the huge leaps of faith in our stories. But He's totally in the little stuff too. Even the Israelites made it to the Promised Land one step at a time.

In your story, small is big.

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TODAY'S QUESTION: What's a S.T.E.P in your story?

To Post Your Comment, Click Here

Every comment during the 21-day challenge = an entry for $50 to Dayspring.com, including the (in)courage shop!

Speaking of comments, we have three winners from Part 11…Sherri, Gloria, and LMH! They get to choose a journal. And all of you get my friends and family code, holley20, for 20% off anything you'd like on DaySpring.com!_______________________________________________________________________________

REST OF YOUR STORY ROUND-UP! Woo-hoo!

If you wrote a post on your blog this week about the rest of your story, just add your link below. We'll get to visit you and you'll get an extra entry for the giveaway!