I’m driving home from lunch with a new friend, replaying the conversation. Fear makes my breathing shallow, my heartbeat fast. What if she doesn’t like me? What if I came across all wrong? I often have moments like this when anxiety gets the best of me and I want to retreat from the whole world.
But this time I pray, “Jesus, help me. I don’t understand why I act this way. I want to be free.” A simple declaration comes to my heart: I am done running away. From now on, I am running toward.
{my graphics are free goodies for you}
I don’t even fully understand what this means but I put on my tennis shoes when I get home. I walk out the door and onto the trail behind our house. I turn on my favorite music and run like my life depends on it. No more, no more, no more, I say with every step.
I think of all I have run away from…how fear has chased me and people-pleasing has set my pace, how anxiety has nipped at my heels like a rogue chihuahua, how the lies have worn me out.
I am done.
I will no longer be a woman who’s defined by what she’s running from.
I am going to run toward grace. I am going to run toward love. I am going to run toward the wild dreams that beckon me in the distance. I am going to run toward boldness and freedom and holy confidence. I am going to run toward Jesus.
I finish, sweaty and spent on the outside, strong and roaring on the inside. I don’t know everything this new perspective means, what exactly I have done. But it feels like something dark and destructive challenged me to a race today.
And I won.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.
{Hebrews 12:1}
XOXO
Holley Gerth
P.S. Will you join me in the journey of living as a fiercehearted woman? Let’s live fully and love bravely — together.
P.S.S. Just so you know, this post includes affiliate links, which means if you click through and make a purchase I may receive a commission (at no additional cost to you). I only share what I believe will be truly helpful. Thanks for your support in this way!
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