Update: My amazing (and compassionate) friend Mandy has thrown down the gauntlet by sharing her own uncool pics and inviting others to do the same. So visit The Life of Us: The Baker Family and get busy on your blog post. Then be sure to tell us about it. Queens of Uncoolness, unite!
Congratulations to Cathy Davis for winning the book and carafe from Jeanne Winters!
My blogging has been a bit slow this week because of a zillion things. But rather than bore you with them I’ll go straight to a revelation that has come to me anew.
Here it goes…
I’m not cool.
Now, really, I’ve known this my entire life. I’ve got lots of Junior High pictures to prove it. I wore white socks with loafers, for crying out loud. But I vaguely had this idea that one day I would grow up, look in the mirror, and finally say, “Oh, yes, Holley you have finally become cool.”
Well, I tell you what, it ain’t gonna happen.
You may be asking yourself what led to this conclusion. There are many, many examples this week but here are a few.
First, I got to talk to a person I admire (who shall remain nameless) on the phone this week. I answered the phone and they said, “Hello, Holley, this is amazing-person-you-admire.” And I said, “Hello, amazing-person-I-admire, this is Holley. Oh, of course it is, because you called ME.”
Yes, I really said that word for word.
Second, my pants. I have one really good pair of black pants. The hem has fallen out and I do not know how to sew. I also am not allowed to have a hot glue gun (see previous post on lack of craft skills). Rather than taking them to someone, I save every itty-bitty safety pin I get to hold them in place. Right now I’m up to FIVE. I was in an important meeting today (Love you, Hallmark people) and looked down to see one of the five had jumped ship. Some poor, innocent person will probably get stabbed in the hallway because of my crazy pants.
Also, I still sing to my dog. I can’t help it. Tonight I was changing the lyrics to a Christmas song (Walking in a Winter Wonderland.) My voice is terrible, the words make no sense, and it’s spring. But I do it anyway. Do you want to know why? Because I am not cool.
I usually try to have something really deep or worthwhile to say at this point (or at least I try). But it’s Friday night, What Not to Wear is on, and my in-laws will be arriving any moment. So I’m just going to wrap all of this up by sharing two photos I should probably track down and burn that recently surfaced on facebook reminding me just how deep my uncoolness goes…
Oh, yes, those bangs (on the left). I’m most likely responsible for global warming.
And just in case you thought I lied about the loafers and white socks, there they are in all their glory.
If you’re wondering, “What’s the purpose of this post?” then I’ll tell you. I’m sacrificially helping you feel better about yourself because no matter how uncool you may think you are, I think I’ve got you beat. And if you try to argue with me, I want to see a picture of your loafers.
