Four Simple, Powerful Questions to Help You Overcome Negative Thinking

“We might have severe weather this afternoon,” Mark says at breakfast. We both look out our windows and the sky is clear blue. After we’ve cleared the dishes, I put on my running shoes and sunglasses then head out the back door.

I take another look at the sky and realize it has turned menacing. My usual running route takes me past ponds with turtles and fat bullfrogs, white ducks and the occasional blue heron. This is where I really want to go. But the clouds are getting closer and I decide to do what seems safe. I run small laps around the same block. I stick close to home. I choose not to go as far.

When I near our house I pull off my sunglasses to wipe sweat from my eyes and I get a surprise. The sky isn’t stormy after all. Oh, sure, there are a few gray clouds scattered around but nothing actually threatening.

My glasses are new and I forgot the lenses make everything look darker. I realize, suddenly, that I have based my actions not on reality but perception. I could have gone on my usual route. It’s hours later now as I write this and still not raining.

I stood on the trail behind our house and asked myself, “How often have I done the same in other areas of my life? How often have I looked through the lenses of fear and let what I saw hold me back?”

We all do this as humans. Our brains are wired with a negativity bias. In other words, we naturally notice what’s negative more than what’s positive. This helps us survive but if we’re not careful it can hold us back from our best lives. When we catch ourselves thinking negatively, it’s easy to be harsh or critical of ourselves. We might feel guilty or wonder if something is wrong with our faith. But that only perpetuates the cycle. Instead we can simply pray, “God, thank You for giving me a wonderful brain that is trying to protect me right now. While it can give me helpful information, I only want to take instructions from You. Help me shift my perspective and refocus on truth.”

Then we can do a reality check to make sure we aren’t looking through lenses that are distorting what we see. To do so, we can pause and ask four questions

What matters over a lifetime is that we don’t let what we perceive have more of a hold on us than what we believe, what we know deep down is true.

What am I telling myself right now? If I do this, I’ll fail.

Am I 100% sure that’s actually true? No, I won’t know until I try.

If not, what do I know for sure is true? I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:13, NLT)

Based on what’s true, what’s the next thing I will do? For example, I will apply for the job in spite of the fear I feel.

Even if the person in this example didn’t get the job, they’re still not a failure. They may feel like a failure but that’s the lenses, it’s perception not reality. Thankfully, God never commands us to feel a certain way, He simply invites us to obey. It’s okay if it takes time for our emotions to catch up with what’s true. What we feel also isn’t our identity. A distorted perspective says, “I’m a failure.” A truth-based perspective says: “I’m a beloved child of God who lives in a world where things don’t always turn out the way I hope.”

Is it hard to practice this process of questioning our perspective? I can say from personal experience…absolutely. Expect inner resistance. And sometimes there will be storms and setbacks in life. That’s unavoidable in this world. What matters over a lifetime is that we don’t let what we perceive have more of a hold on us than what we believe, what we know deep down is true.

Let’s move forward with more courage and clearer vision today.


What Your Soul Needs for Stressful TimesHave you felt stressed lately? (I understand!) Whether it’s the conflict in our world, everyday struggles, or a personal crisis, you can find encouragement and help in my new devotional book What Your Soul Needs for Stressful Times: 60 Powerful Truths to Protect Your Peace.


About Holley

About Holley

Wall Street Journal Bestselling Author and Life Coach

I like humans, words, and good coffee. And I’d love to help you beat what’s holding you back, become all you’re created to be, and kick butt for the greater good.

Cheering you on,


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