{my graphics are free goodies for you}
In my younger years, I stared at the names of authors in the aisles of bookstores, heard the words of speakers I respected, and listened to musicians belting out praise songs complete with electric keyboards and thought all these people must be perfect.
I didn’t know—I really didn’t—that someone could be used by God, especially in a very public way, and still be fighting battles every day. I feared human imperfections were actually divine disqualifications, and I was living on borrowed time when it came to God’s willingness to work through me.
I didn’t realize the authors I idolized on the shelves of my grandparents’ bookstore could have put a well-placed comma on the page and then, in a moment of weakness, snapped at their kids for interrupting them. Or the performer might have wrapped up their show and then had too many beers alone in a hotel room, an unfortunate self-prescription to dull the anxiety and exhaustion. The artist who created the beautiful piece about forgiveness perhaps did so only a few minutes after getting rid of the pornography.
I suppose I should have suspected this because of what I read in Scripture. After all, the man after God’s own heart opened the door to adultery and murder. The wild-faith ark builder got drunk. The boldest disciple lied and denied in the most crucial moment.
Instead, it took a very long time for me to understand we are all broken. No level of spirituality or ministry exists where we are suddenly exempt from being human. I grieve for my own heart because of this. And for the thousands of other silent pew sitters and hopers throughout history who have thought the same. Who have nearly drowned in their shame. Who have told themselves, “I’m sure I’m the only one.” And all the while Jesus has been waiting, hand extended, simply saying, “This is why I came.”
As I’ve talked about before, I’m still learning grace is not just for getting us into heaven—it is for getting us through this life. It is for the first sin and the millionth. It is for all we hide in the dark. It is for the broken places that are like scabs knocked off over and over. It is for the thing we think excludes us.
I wish there had been less telling and more showing way back then when I first started looking for grace. I would have liked to see the scars from skirmishes fought with bare, tender hands. I would have liked to touch skinned knees from the falls. I would have liked to walk beside folks when they were still limping. I hope that is how I’m living, how I’m writing—Jesus, may it be so for all of us.
XOXO
Holley Gerth
P.S. This post is an excerpt from my new book Fiercehearted: Live Fully, Love Bravely. As you might guess from this excerpt, I share some confessions and struggles in the book I never have before. I’ll continue to do so in the Fiercehearted Fall Study. I’d love for you to join us!
P.P.S. I’m so excited that DaySpring is hosting a Fiercehearted giveaway! From now through 10/16, you can click here to enter the generous giveaway that includes the ‘Courage Is’ necklace, You’re Loved mini-tablet pouch, and ‘Put On Love’ trinket dish.
*****
From August 16th through October we’re doing a special link-up series to celebrate Fiercehearted: Live Fully, Love Bravely. You’re a fiercehearted woman so I’m asking you to pour out a little love and courage with your words every Wednesday {the link-up goes live at 5:30am CST}. Simply write an encouraging blog post, especially if it’s about living fully and loving bravely, and then share it here. Don’t have a blog? You can still write an encouraging comment. If you’re reading this by email, go to holleygerth.com to see all the fun and join in too.
Pretty please use this button in your blog post so others can easily join in with us {the html code is in the right sidebar of my main blog page}. And when you link up your post, take a moment to leave an encouraging comment on the one that’s linked up just before yours. Thanks, friends!
I’m having Coffee For Your Heart with my friend Holley Gerth!
{click to tweet that you’re joining me here today}
[inlinkz_linkup id=739768 mode=1]
