There’s a SIXTH love language. What’s yours?

You value meaningful connection. You want to be understood. You want better relationships. I hear you because I do too.

On my wedding day I said an enthusiastic, “Oh, yeah!” instead of a calm, “I do.” The audience giggled. The preacher looked at me wide-eyed. Mark grinned like he’d won the lottery. In that moment I thought I had love all figured out.

Then we started day-to-day life together and things became a bit confusing. I thought Mark would leave love notes on my car. Instead he changed my windshield wipers. I thought he would buy romantic presents. Instead he faithfully, consistently paid the bills. Hmm.

An Ah-Ha Moment

One day I came across The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. As a quick review they are…

the five love languages

Ah-ha! I realized Mark’s love language was acts of service (mine is words of affirmation, of course). Once I understood that, I could “translate” his actions in a way that made me feel loved.

This had such helpful results that I decided to become fluent in the love languages of the people in my life–friends, family, even the dog (physical touch and bacon, obviously).

The Sixth Love Language

Then recently my friend Jennifer Watson asserted that there are actually six love languages. In other words, we all have something unique to us that makes us feel loved. Hers? Cake. Yep, it’s that simple. My friend Suzie’s? Silliness. Mine? Naps and or chocolate + peanut butter.

Why does this matter? Because when someone understands your sixth love language it communicates in a deep way, I get you. And when we take the time to figure out (or even just ask) someone else’s love language it tells them, you really matter to me.

Helpful Questions

  • Ask yourself: Which of the five original love languages resonates most with me?
  • Also ask: What’s my sixth love language–something that makes me feel loved that’s not on the original list?

Then take a moment to ask someone else in your life those questions today too. (Hint: Share this on Facebook and you can get a lot of answers in a little bit of time. Plus, it’s just really fun to hear what your people say. And you will look like a rockstar friend/sister/allthethings.)

Yes, sometimes love is complicated. But, thankfully, sometimes it’s as simple as a new windshield wiper or a crispy piece of bacon. Amen?

I’d be delighted to hear about YOUR love languages!

Cheering you on…



Want to go deeper into the love languages? Listen to Episode 12: Your Sixth Love Language on More than Small Talk (my new podcast). You can find it on KLRC or your favorite podcast app. Thank you for making More than Small Talk hit the top charts twice already! You’re wonderful. New to podcasts? Start here.

About Holley

About Holley

Wall Street Journal Bestselling Author and Life Coach

I like humans, words, and good coffee. And I’d love to help you beat what’s holding you back, become all you’re created to be, and kick butt for the greater good.

Cheering you on,


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