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I oversleep and from the first second my eyes open I feel behind. Then our elderly dog has a small crisis, my husband needs help and a pile of work glares at me from my desk. “I need more time,” I think. And so I try to make it by getting in a hurry.
But Jesus wisely asked, “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?” {Luke 12:25}. And this kind of living is just another kind of worry for me. I should know by now it never works. Because only God can make time.
But this morning I’ve forgotten that truth and I quickly head out to a local coffee shop where I can be more “productive.” In my haste, I forget something and have to turn around to retrieve it. As I do, I sense God inwardly nudging me to turn my day around too.
So instead of grabbing the item I need and hustling back out the door, I retreat to our bedroom. I pull out my laptop and look up the words rush and hurry on an online Scripture site. This random verse in Genesis grabs my heart, “‘I rushed away because I was afraid,’ Jacob answered” {Gen. 31:31}. It’s a simple statement in a complicated story. But it makes me realize the motivation behind all my go-go-go on this morning.
I’m afraid.
Afraid I won’t get it all done.
Afraid I will fall short.
Afraid I will let someone down.
The list could go on but every line would still have the same source: Trying to please people instead of remembering my day belongs to God. When I live that way, fear always wins. Pastor and author John Ortberg once described the pace of his life to theologian Dallas Willard. He asked for spiritual insight and this was the reply: “You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life.”
I’ve thought often about that quote. But I’m only beginning to understand why it’s so powerful. It’s because I can’t run at the world’s pace and walk with God at the same time.
Emily P. Freeman says in Simply Tuesday, “I know the allure of hustle, how it feels both like winning and losing at the same time….In my exhaustion with this fast-moving world—the one that moves around me and the one that pounds within me—I turn to Jesus. ‘Hustle, produce, and ship’ is not what I see in him.”
Yes, eliminating hurry has something to do with our calendars. But I think it has even more to do with our hearts. I rush into my day because I am afraid. And only Jesus can calm my fear. Only Jesus can remind me I don’t have to prove my worth. Only Jesus can help me believe my to-do list isn’t my identity.
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Slow me down, Lord, to the pace You have for me. I don’t want to take a single step ahead of You. Turn my worry into worship. Turn my striving into serving You. Turn my pressure into freedom. It is only in You that “we live and move and have our being” {Acts 11:28}. Amen.
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I can feel the rhythm within me turning toward restfulness again. I let out a sigh of relief. I almost slipped back into my old ways. And how much would “saving time” have cost me? Days, weeks, months…years?
Today I will not rush. I will not hurry. I will not run.
Today I will walk with God.
And however far we go, it will be enough.
XOXO
Holley Gerth
- If you liked this post, you’ll love this book – You’re Loved No Matter What: Freeing Your Heart from the Need to Be Perfect
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