photo by Andrew Beeston
“There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.” — Jill Churchill
I’ll never forget the first time I read the quote above. It jumped out from a page of Real Simple magazine years ago and grabbed my heart. I was in one of the busiest seasons of my life–working full-time, going to grad school, completing a book. I felt exhausted a lot of time. And even beyond the physical fatigue, I felt like I was falling short in every area of my life.
As a wife.
As a friend.
As a Christian.
As a student.
As a writer.
I had convinced myself there was a right way to fulfill each of those roles. And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t make that “right way” work in that season of my life. Have you ever felt that way?
When I read the quote above, it gave me permission to adapt. To figure things out. To let good enough really be good enough sometimes.
There’s no way to be a perfect wife, friend, Christian, student, writer but there are a million ways to be a good one.
Huh.
It opened the door to solutions. I hired a maid. I sent my friends emails when we couldn’t get together face-to-face. I prayed on my commute to work.
And I survived.
So did my relationships.
My husband and I were not eaten by dust bunnies. The grammar police did not lock me away for my rough drafts. No lightning bolts struck when I occasionally missed church because I needed sleep more than a sermon.
I’m not an advocate of being crazy-busy as a lifestyle. The pace I was going at wasn’t sustainable long-term. But sometimes God calls us to seasons of busyness, difficulties, or challenges and we’ve got to figure out a new normal for that time. If we refuse to adjust and instead firmly cling to our “right way” for everything then we’re asking for burnout and broken relationships.
How do you need to fill in that blank today?
There’s no way to be a perfect ________ but there are a million ways to be a good one.
Give yourself permission to figure out those million ways {or at least a dozen}. It’s okay. You’re not failing–you’re being wise.
This season will pass for you. And then you’ll need new solutions for the next one. All of our lives we’ll be changing, adapting, growing, speeding up, slowing down. That simply means we’re human and we’re alive. Want to stay the same in every season? Consider becoming a rock. Otherwise embrace the freedom that’s yours and relax a bit. As I look back on that crazy time in my life, my only regret is that I didn’t extend even more grace to myself.
You’re doing better today than you realize, friend.
Really.
XOXO
