As a writer, I read everything wherever I go. Here in San Francisco I can’t help but noticing some signs that are, well, a bit odd. I’ve been taking photos of them so you can enjoy them too.
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1) Disturbingly, it appears people tend to treat the toilets quite violently.
2) They must also like to start fires since this sign says, “No Fires – No Barbecues.” I really didn’t think you could have one without the other.
3) Since you can’t make a fire or have a barbecue, there’s really no point in taking the dungeness crabs.
4) Besides, the pier may collapse at any moment.But they let thousands of tourists walk on it anyway. We’ll all look like we’re doing water aerobics when we land in the bay like these stick figures.
5) Almost falling into the pier might make you want to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. Just in case, there are phones right in the middle of it. None of my counseling classes covered this.
6) But you really shouldn’t jump because people would miss you. Your dog would too. And if you were gone, no one would pick up the litter that Fido has evidently been throwing on the city streets.
7) Of course, if you have a really good dog then they’ll get a monument like the one at the base of the Transamerica tower. It appears a puppy named “Bummer” and his buddy Lazarus roamed the streets here in the 1860s. And you thought “bummer” was a modern slang word.
8) If that last caption made you want to do some research, be careful. This sign at City Lights bookstore warns that “Books cause dangerous thoughts” and you should hand them over to the local firemen. Or me. I’ll take them.
9) By now, you may be wondering exactly what kind of citizens dwell in San Francisco. There are two types according to the following signs: “Good people” and “Jerks”.
10) If this is a bit much to take in, just slow down like they tell you to do on Lombard street–the curviest road in the country. After all, it seems there’s nothing straightforward in this terrific town!
