When You’re in the Middle of a Struggle

We talk about our struggles. We’re friends, fellow travelers on this journey. She keeps repeating a phrase, “I’m the girl who….”

It’s the phrase I’ve heard from the lips of hundreds of women. From my own too.

We face a challenge and redefine ourselves by it.

Here are some I’ve said:

I’m the girl who has social anxiety.

I’m the girl who has depression.

I’m the girl who can’t have children.

Those sentences trap us, limit us, make us believe we are our worst moments.

I clear my throat and whisper quietly into the phone what has set me free…

“That’s not who you are, friend, it’s where you are right now.”

She sighs with relief and says the words that are like candy for my ears, “You need to write about this on your blog.” So here we are. Because I need to hear this truth more than once…and maybe you do too.

Your struggle is not your identity.

It’s your location at the moment.

If there were spiritual GPS, we could locate your spot in the desert. Imagine you did so with me and I said, “This place is my identity forever.” You’d shake your head and say, “You’re on your way to the Promised Land! This is just a temporary stop!”

Then you’d remind me…

I’m the girl who is God’s daughter.

I’m the girl with strengths placed within me for a purpose.

I’m the girl who’s unconditionally loved by Someone who can get me through anything.

Where we are in life changes.

Who we are stays the same wherever we may go.

Where are you today, friend?

And who are you, really?


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Thanks to Guilherme Jofili for the photo above

About Holley

About Holley

Wall Street Journal Bestselling Author and Life Coach

I like humans, words, and good coffee. And I’d love to help you beat what’s holding you back, become all you’re created to be, and kick butt for the greater good.

Cheering you on,


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