The other night I stayed up too late, curled under my covers with a book in hand.
It spoke of things that made me take deep breaths and let them out slowly with relief. It spoke of freedom, grace and whispered that I am enough.
In The Me I Want to Be, John Ortberg says:
Here is the good news: When you flourish, you become more you. You become more that person God had in mind when God thought you up. You don’t just become holier. You become you-ier.
You will change: God wants you to become “a new creation.” But “new doesn’t mean completely different; instead it’s like an old piece of furniture that gets restored to its intended beauty….God wants to redeem you, not exchange you.
I don’t know about you but there are parts of me that I wish were different sometimes. I’m quiet in groups–I might even fidget and sweat (ew!). I need time to process before I make a decision. I overlook details (much to my husband’s amusement). I can’t seem to organize a drawer to save my life.
Yet when I look at those traits another way, I see characteristics that make me a good listener, an insightful friend and a big-picture dreamer. (The drawers are another story–I still don’t know what’s redemptive about that. Hmm.)
It’s a relief to know that what I wish would change about myself God simply wants to redirect and redeem.
I think of all the energy I spend trying to be less of the things that I wish were different about me.
What if I spent it instead on becoming more of who I’m been made to be all along?
I wish you could come over today. I’d sit you down for a cup of something cozy. We’d talk this through together and open our hearts. And maybe even a drawer or two… 🙂
p.s. Do you ever struggle to accept parts of who you are? How might God be able to use that in unexpected ways?