As a writer people often say to me with fear and trembling, “I want to encourage others…but what do I say?”
I know that look in their eyes. It’s the same one I sometimes get when I try to cook or decorate. (Yes, it’s true. I could write a book about a party but I’m not sure I’ve got the skills to actually throw one.)
That’s why I love those recipes that have four ingredients, take ten minutes, and make you look like you’re the queen of the kitchen. The tips below are intended to work the same way when it comes to encouraging someone.
Those you care about will feel loved, you’ll breathe a sigh of relief, and with all your free time you can send me an e-mail about how to be more domestic.
Here are four simple words you need to remember when it comes to encouragement…
{and yes, they all begin with “s”–I’m an alliteration junkie and just can’t help myself.}
1) Small – Most people receive applause for the big things in life. Promotions, new babies, and consistently great hair get a lot of attention. But few of us get told when we do the little things well. Choose something you think no one else has noticed and say something.
2) Specific – It’s easy to give global compliments. The word “special” has gotten a bad rap for this reason. It sounds good…but what exactly does it mean? Show you’re paying attention by making the compliment like a little gift you picked out just for that person.
3) Sensitive – This doesn’t mean that you need to hand them a kitten and share some cotton candy. Sensitivity simply means being aware of how others are wired. Know what makes them feel loved. The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman is a great resource. He says there are five primary ways we give and receive love: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Quality Time, Physical Touch, and Gifts. I’ve been talking primarily about words (that’s mine) but for the one you love it might be someone else. Be a detective and figure it out.
5) Spiritual – Finally, we all want to have a greater meaning in purpose in life. But while we’re busy washing dishes, changing diapers, or going to meetings that can seem far away. Help those you love connect the dots between the everyday and eternal by saying things like, “The way you nurture your kids reminds me of God’s heart for us.” {Hint: DaySpring card packs can help you do this more easily.}
Mix all of the above, combine with prayer, and share generously. You’ll be the Rachel Ray of encouragement before you know it. And everyone will be coming back for more.
What’s your favorite way to encourage others?
p.s. Thank you for your support for the new ebook version of Rain on Me! You made it hit the #4 spot for devotionals on Amazon.com the day that post went up. Woo-hoo! Get your copy here today. And if you’re interested in creating an ebook of your own, check out my friend Sarah Mae’s new book!
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