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The prince falls in loves with Cinderella. He searches the kingdom for her and slides the glass slipper on her foot like an engagement ring. We all know how the story ends: “And they lived happily ever after.”
We also know that’s not how real life stories usually go. Fast-forward a year later and the prince is upset because Cinderella has spent too much money on this season’s glass slippers at her favorite store. And she’s locked herself in her bedroom to cry into her pillow about the unemotional man she married.
We view marriage with a lot of expectations. And even if we marry someone wonderful, those expectations aren’t going to be met. We all want the fairy tale—the happily ever after with a perfect husband.
And here’s the thing: there’s nothing wrong with that desire. It’s just that we misplace it sometimes. Yes, you have a perfect husband. His name is Jesus, and one day you’ll be in heaven with Him for your happily-ever-after story. But it’s easy to forget that and instead insist that the men in our lives fulfill those needs. For those us of who are married, we look to our flesh-and-blood husbands, and for those of us who are single, we look to the yet-to-marry-him men of our fantasies.
In So Long, Insecurity Beth Moore says, “Men are not our problem; it’s what we are trying to get from them that messes us up. Nothing is more baffling than our attempt to derive our womanhood from our men. We use guys like mirrors to see if we’re valuable. Beautiful. Desirable. Worthy of notice. Viable.”
When those mirrors don’t reflect what we hope to see, our usual response is try harder. Maybe we buy a new outfit. Spend a few more minutes on our makeup. Try to cook better dinners. Keep the house tidier. Be a bit more enthusiastic about football. Some part of us believes, “If I’m the perfect wife, then he has to love me and stay with me forever.”
But as too many women know, it often doesn’t work out that way. And we end up blaming ourselves for the unraveling of our relationships, which only makes us work harder to be sure that never happens again. Your heart is not created for that kind of striving. No human relationship can completely fulfill your need for love. When the men we love fall short, it’s a signal to our souls to turn to Jesus instead.
Over and over, Scripture describes God’s people as a bride with words like these: “As a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you” (Isa. 62:5).
This is what’s truer than a fairy tale for us this Valentine’s Day: We’re loved beyond what we can even imagine. Whether we are single or married, whatever may have happened in our romantic relationships, even if we feel alone sometimes… we are the beloved bride of the perfect Husband. And there’s still a happily ever after in our future.
XOXO
Holley
P.S. If you like this post, you’ll love this book – You’re Loved No Matter What: Freeing Your Heart from the Need to Be Perfect. Here’s a free excerpt. And here’s another little treat for you: Get 10% off this book and everything else in my shop only for February with coupon code LOVED.
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Welcome to the Coffee for Your Heart weekly link-up! {This week, for Valentine’s Day, we’re linking up a day early!} You’re an encourager so I’m asking you to pour out a little love with your words every Wednesday {link-up goes live at 5:30am CST}. Simply write an encouraging blog post and then share it here. Don’t have a blog? You can still write an encouraging comment. If you’re reading this by email, go to holleygerth.com to see all the fun and join in too.
Pretty please use this button in your blog post so others can easily join in with us {html code in right sidebar}. And when you link up your post, take a moment to leave an encouraging comment on the one that’s linked up just before yours. Thanks, friends!
I’m having Coffee For Your Heart with my friend Holley Gerth
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