I run through the list of “shoulds” in my mind one more time before I step through the doors where a large group is waiting…
“I should enjoy making small talk with people.”
“I should be excited about signing up to serve on a committee.”
“I should be expressive and enthusiastic when I share.”
Then comes the trigger for so much shame and guilt in my life: “Or I don’t really love Jesus or others.”
For years I thought loving well was one size fits all. But when someone challenged me to compare my ideals to Scripture I discovered they were cultural not biblical. It was okay if my list sounded more like this…
“I enjoy deep conversations that get to the heart of things and people.”
“I prefer to spend time with people one-on-one so I can really focus and listen.”
“I appreciate quiet and calm because that’s where I hear God’s voice.”
Whew. The reality is God gives us a lot of freedom when it comes to how we connect with Him and others. Even among the disciples we see a lot of variety—for example, boisterous Peter and gentle John. What matters is that we understand how we’re wired and then respect it.
For years I tried to live like an extrovert (I share more about this in the You’re Already Amazing LifeGrowth Guide Session Four Video). I ended up exhausted, anxious and even physically sick.
Then a wise counselor asked me these questions, “Do you think God made you who you are?” (Insert nod from me.) “Do you think He wants to use how you’re made to accomplish His purpose for your life?” (Insert lightbulb above my head.)
Research has shown that how much a woman thrives is impacted more by how much time she spends in her sweet spot than any other factor, and that sweet spot includes your social strengths. When you align with who God created you to be, everything changes. You’re fully alive, others are blessed, and He is glorified.
Yes, serving others includes doing what’s hard and stepping out of our comfort zones at times. But denying ourselves doesn’t mean denying who God made us. “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago” (Eph. 2:10 NLT).
And loving well the way we’re created to is the best thing of all.
—You’re Already Amazing LifeGrowth Guide, Session Four
Discussion: How has God wired you to connect with others? What has He taught you about respecting who He made you to be–even when others may not always understand it? {Subscribers, click here to come to the blog post so you can leave a comment.}
I’m so glad that we can learn about relationships together, friends!
XOXO
Holley Gerth
P.S. Congratulations to Linda Perkins, the giveaway winner from last Monday!
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Go Deeper
- Watch the You’re Already Amazing LifeGrowth Guide Session Four Video
- Join the LifeGrowth discussion in the Women Leading Women Facebook Group
- Write a blog post about something God taught you through Session Four and share it this Wednesday as part of the next Coffee for Your Heart link-up
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This post is part of the You’re Already Amazing LifeGrowth Guide Book Club. You can still get your copy of the LifeGrowth Guide and you can read all the book club posts here. If you’d like to be the first to hear about future book clubs, become an official member and get a free printable.
