You think you have me. But that isn’t true. I have you.
That means every time you knock me down I’m going to get back up. It means you don’t get to define me. Instead I will always defy you.
You will never get to be the boss of me. God alone gets to determine my identity and destiny. You may make me hide under the covers sometimes. But you will not make me cover up who I really am.
You think I should be afraid of you. But you should be afraid of me. Because I’m not giving in or giving up. I will never surrender. And I’m going to show the world who you are, a liar and thief who whispers in the dark and takes what’s not yours.
You taunt me with shame and tell me if anyone knew about you I would no longer be loved. But I am not ashamed. I am named “beloved” by the God who crafted me into being. No matter what you say, He “made me in an amazing and wonderful way” (Ps. 139:14).
You’d like to convince me I’m a coward. But I’m doing whatever it takes to stand up to you. I go to my doctor. I see my counselor. I tell my trusted friends. I embrace joy when it comes. I do brave, hard things over and over. This is not cowardice—it’s true courage.
You tempt me to hold back until I’m completely rid of you. “How can you help others,” you hiss, “when you’re still broken?” But I’ve learned it’s through our broken places that God’s love often flows out the most freely to others.
Here’s the secret: You think you have taken so much from me. But you’ve actually done the opposite. You’ve revealed I’m stronger than I know, braver than I feel, and loved more than I can even imagine.
Let me drop this bomb on you today, Depression…
You tried to make me weak. What you did instead was make me a warrior.
And I will never stop fighting.
* To hear more about my battle with depression (and kick-butt victory), subscribe to the More than Small Talk podcast on KLRC or your favorite podcast app and listen to Episode 20: Depression Doesn’t Define You.
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