Holley Gerth

Embrace Who You Are, Become All You're Created to Be

Whatever You’re Feeling Today Is Okay

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Whatever you are feeling today is okay.

We’ve all been through a lot the last couple of weeks. Hard news. Cancelled plans. Social distancing.

I’ve heard people share how they’re doing and then say, “But I shouldn’t feel this way….” So I wanted to pop in with a quick reminder that whatever we’re feeling today is okay. We’re created with emotions for a purpose.

Fear and anxiety are protective emotions. They help us stay alert and pay attention, so having them right now is healthy and appropriate. We need to manage them, yes, but we don’t have to make ourselves never experience them. When God says, “Do not fear” it’s almost always to someone who’s already afraid. It’s not a rebuke, it’s a reassurance and gentle invitation to trust Him.

Anger and frustration are informative emotions. We experience them when something important to us is threatened or a goal is blocked, revealing our values and desires. Graduation or wedding cancelled? Anger is appropriate. Can’t find food for your family at the grocery store? Expect to be frustrated. God doesn’t tell us to not get angry, only to not let our anger lead us into unwise words or actions.

Grief and disappointment are adaptive emotions. We’re all experiencing losses right now, some small, some huge. They all matter, so let’s not dismiss any of them as insignificant or compare. Grief and disappointment tell us, “Things are not as I hoped they’d be.” These emotions can help us adjust to a new normal, draw closer to others, and eventually start moving toward new hopes.

Joy and happiness are sustaining emotions. It can be easy to feel guilty when we have happy moments at a time when so much is hard. But these emotions let us catch our breath, keep our hearts open, and energize us so we can keep going and help others. We also don’t have to force ourselves to feel these emotions, they’ll come eventually.

Emotions aren’t the enemy; they’re temporary messengers telling us about what we’re experiencing. When one shows up, we can pause and ask…

What is this emotion telling me?

Is it true?

Now what will I choose to do?

In the weeks and months ahead, we’ll have many different feelings stop by for a visit. When one comes, we don’t have to say, “I shouldn’t feel this way.” All of our emotions are allowed. None of them are bad. They’re just not the boss.

– Holley

Suzie Eller, Jennifer Watson and I did a special More than Small Talk Covid-19 bonus episode about Handling ALL the Emotions. You can watch the video or listen to the podcast episode.

You can also listen to this week’s regular podcast episode where we talk about how we can keep from being cynical.

A Fear-Fighting Prayer and Some Brain Science

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God Will Take Care of You

A Prayer for All of Us

God,
The world can be a scary place. You understand because You lived here. And you have compassion for our fear because You created our brains and bodies. You know what it means to be human, yet you also invite us to not let fear be the boss of us. You tell us…

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze. Isaiah 43:2

These words tell us hard things will happen in our lives. They will affect us but they will not overcome us. We will pass through them but there is always another side. Nothing on the news is new to you.

Give us the wisdom to know when to listen and when to turn off the TV, when to keep learning and when to put down our phones, and, no matter what we hear or see, to be led not by fear but by You.

Show us how to be practical and wise as we take care of ourselves and others. Show us how to be strong and courageous too. We choose to keep moving forward together one step, one moment, one breath at a time with You. That is enough.

You took care of us yesterday, You’re taking care of us now, You’ll take care of us tomorrow–no matter what.

Amen.

Holley

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A Quick Life Coaching Video

I did a Facebook live to talk about what happens in our brains when we’re afraid, the three stress responses, and how to choose the one that’s most helpful. Watch the free video now.


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One Last Thing

After a lot of thought and prayer (and worries that people will misunderstand or question my motives), I’ve decided to reopen my writing course at a reduced rate. Why now?

Because…
People need our words of hope and encouragement more than ever before.
Even if we can’t change all the world’s problems, we can change one life at a time.
When we can’t go to the places we want to, we can still go to the places we’re called to.
Fear is not the boss of us and each word we write is a tiny but mighty act of defiance.
Let’s keep the faith, take care of each other, and get to work. Who’s with me?

Get Started Now: Be a Kick-Butt Writer by Friday

Your Imperfect and Messy Story Is Beautiful

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Instead of comparison, let's choose compassion.

I’m in the library this morning. The quiet spreads out like white frosting interrupted only by a few giggles scattered like confetti-colored sprinkles from the children’s section. Behind me are seemingly endless shelves of books. Love and war, mysteries and memoirs, one about a girl dragonfly with wings of flame. At this very moment, I could stand up, take a few steps, and choose any of them.

Life can feel this way as well. It seems there are thousands of stories we could be living. And in this world of option and opportunity we believe we could somehow pick any or all of them. We call this freedom, yet in so many ways it can become a trap.

Because instead of living fully in the reality I’ve been given, I’m often somewhere else, lost on the pages of “what might have been” or “what could be.” I want someone else’s story—a book with a more enticing spine. But so often when we look at each other’s lives it’s like seeing only the cover of a book or maybe the little blurb of highlights on the back.

We don’t know in chapter seven the tornado ripped through the roof and she’s still wandering around on the lawn collecting splinters of picture frames. We don’t understand in chapter three she was the kid with rubber-banded braces on her teeth, volcanoes of pimples on her face, and more pounds than she wanted around her middle. And that’s who she still sees every time she looks in the mirror. We don’t grasp that there is no Wizard of Oz, and behind the curtain she’s just as scared and small as the rest of us.

I am at a place in my life when I want to stop constantly scanning the shelves for something on-the-surface better. Something thrilling and adventurous. Something a little more wise or funny. Something shinier than what I’ve been given. Instead, I want to realize that while the details are different, in so many ways our stories are the same. They are all full of anger and fear, struggle and loss, hope and longing.

And I want to be a little more open about my story, which is why I wrote Fiercehearted. Because maybe someone is looking at me the way I’ve looked at folks whose stories seem better than mine. Maybe someone sees you that way, too.

I hope we can find the courage to stand beside each other, point to the pages, and say, “This is the paragraph I wish I could mark out with a wide, red pen. This is the ugly, unwelcome sentence. This is the black-as-night period I was so hoping would only be a tiny, gray comma. This is the part about the hurt and the doubt following me like a stray dog. Here’s where the cherry pie got thrown against the wall and, yes, the stain is still there. And, my goodness, there’s also this joy-soaked scene I never saw coming.”

Because it’s in the telling, in the opening, that we begin to see our stories for what they are—glory-filled and flawed works of art. We start giving (and, yes, getting) what all our tattered-cover lives really need.

Not comparison… A little more compassion.

XOXO
Holley

MORE:

This post is an excerpt from Fiercehearted: Live Fully, Love Bravely (currently 40% off!).

Is there a space in your life that felt unsafe but has become a brave place? Today on More than Small Talk, Christy Rodriguez joined us to talk about overcoming fear and daring to step into all God has for us. Listen to the episode free here.

My new online course, Be a Kick-Butt Writer by Friday, is full! Missed it? Get on the waiting list.

You Have Not Been Forgotten

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Our God is good, and He loves us. Even when we can’t see His hands, even when we don’t understand His plans, we can still trust His heart.

Patience requires giving up control, it means surrendering our perceived power. This is hard and scary for me. Yet, deep down, patience is also what our weary souls long for, what they are really hoping will be the outcome of all our efforts.

Patience isn’t just about time, it’s also about trust. It’s about saying, “I don’t have to be in control. I don’t have to hold the power because I know the One who does. And He is for me. He is always working on my behalf. And this means I don’t have to strive or reach for control.”

This is the true work of patience—not only to help us wait but to help us worship. To empty our hands and bend our knees and bow our heads. This is a wild, heart-freeing thing. Because what we want even more than to be in control is to be cared for by Someone who truly loves us.

And we are. We always have been. We forever will be.

Our God is good, and He loves us. Even when we can’t see His hands, even when we don’t understand His plans, we can still trust His heart.

Pray with me:

God, You have not forgotten us. You have not overlooked our requests. You haven’t left us behind. Please give us the patience we need to wait for Your timing, the faith we need to believe when we don’t yet see, and the trust we need to keep our hope burning strong. Your intentions for us are good, and Your timing is best. We surrender to Your will, not our own. Amen.

MORE:

The words above are from Promises from God for Life’s Hard Moments. On today’s More than Small Talk podcast episode, we’re answering this question: What’s a time when you wanted to move forward but God said “not right now”? Click here to listen in!

You Don’t Have to Be “Enough”

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We’re much more than pretty, we are wonderfully made. We’re much more than likeable, we are deeply loved. We’re much more than okay, we are daughters of the King.

“Lord,” I asked, “why do women feel as if they’re not enough?” It seemed I heard a whisper in response: “Because they’re not.” For a moment I thought I had some holy static happening.

“Excuse me, God, it sounded like You said we’re not enough. Could You repeat that, pretty please?”

Again, gently and firmly, “They are not enough.”

By then I started thinking perhaps my heart had dialed the wrong number and the devil was on the line. But in that pause it seemed God finished the sentence: “They are not enough . . . in Me they are so much more.”

As women, we’re much more than pretty . . . we are wonderfully made.

We’re much more than likeable . . . we are deeply loved.

We’re much more than okay . . . we are daughters of the King.

I think the enemy tricks us into believing we are not enough because he knows if we discover the truth, we’ll be unstoppable.

We’re chosen, cherished, created women who have all we need to fulfill God’s plans for our lives, and He has made us just as He wants us to be.

MORE:

The words above are from You’re Already Amazing: Embracing Who You Are, Becoming All God Created You to Be. The title of today’s More than Small Talk podcast episode is When Your “But” Gets In The Way. Click here to listen in!

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