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I hold a list in my hand. The words are written in black sharpie on cream paper in a square, unlined journal. The page looks so small but the sentences scrawled on it feel big, more than I could ever handle.
I’m going through a process of healing and my assignment for this week is to write down my fears. The wise, strong, encouraging friend to my right says, “Okay, read your fears out loud.” I panic for a moment. Read them out loud? Where people can hear? For a second I consider running out the door. But then I think, “No, I want to be free. Whatever it takes.”
I clear my throat and begin…
I’m afraid of not being good enough.
I’m afraid of disappointing God and others.
I’m afraid of rejection, failure, conflict, disapproval, inadequacy.
What fears would be on your list?
When we’re afraid, our natural tendency is to hide. We physically or emotionally retreat to where it feels safer. I’ve done this by literally diving under the covers in my bedroom. Or I’ve hidden my heart by putting on a smiling face when I felt broken inside.
God knows of this tendency we have as humans and He doesn’t tell us not to hide. We aren’t in trouble for this instinct. What God does want to change is where and how we hide. God Himself wants to be our “hiding place.”
“For You are my hiding place; You protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of victory.” {Psalm 32:7}
I used to think I had to get rid of my fears before I came to God–that He wanted me to be strong all the time. But when God says “do not fear” in Scripture it’s almost always to someone who’s already afraid. It’s not a rebuke but a reassurance, much like a scared child finding comfort and security in the arms of a loving parent.
When I looked at my list of fears I wanted to run from them. But instead, perhaps fully for the first time, I realized I can run to God with them. I got on my knees and told Him what scares me most.
“I prayed to the Lord, and He answered me. He freed me from all my fears.” {Psalm 34:4}
Yes, I will face fears again in this life but that moment felt like a breakthrough. Because I know now whatever I’m facing, I can come to God with it. He is our strength and security. He gives us courage and makes us brave. His love and truth are bigger and stronger than anything we fear.
XOXO
Holley Gerth
*****
Right now, we’re doing a special link-up series to celebrate Fiercehearted: Live Fully, Love Bravely. You’re a fiercehearted woman so I’m asking you to pour out a little love and courage with your words every Wednesday {the link-up goes live at 5:30am CST}. Simply write an encouraging blog post, especially if it’s about living fully and loving bravely, and then share it here. Don’t have a blog? You can still write an encouraging comment. If you’re reading this by email, go to holleygerth.com to see all the fun and join in too.
When you link up your post, take a moment to leave an encouraging comment on the one that’s linked up just before yours. Thanks, friends!
I’m having Coffee For Your Heart with my friend Holley Gerth!
{click to tweet that you’re joining me here today}
[inlinkz_linkup id=769080 mode=1]
