Bloggy Friends

God-sized dreams…surviving on sprinkles

God-sized dreams…surviving on sprinkles

Sprinkles photo by D Sharon Pruitt - find more from her on flickr! Hello Friends! I've been at ICRS in St. Louis the past few days and I'm still catching up! Thanks so much for your prayers! This post came to mind while I was there so I wanted to share it with you again…

I stand at the counter, staring intently into the case.

"I don't need the ice cream," I cheerfully say to the clerk, "Just give me a few sprinkles."

Children gasp in horror. An alarm sounds somewhere in Candyland. Security is put on standby.

I take the empty cone in my hand, peer at the brightly colored flecks at the bottom, and walk into the sunlight with a smile.

Okay, so I've never ordered just sprinkles at an ice cream shop. But my heart has dozens of times.

Here's what I mean–

I've had a few dreams come true. Some really good, beautiful, amazing dreams. And I've loved being part of them.

But after a few months, days, or even hours…my soul gets hungry again.

Do you know what I mean?

It's that faint growling deep inside, a growing emptiness, a call for something more.

Then I start feeling really confused. I think, "But this is what I really wanted. This is what I worked so hard to get. This is what I just knew would fill me up."

It turns out dreams make lovely sprinkles on our lives but they can't fill us up.

I went to the Mt. Hermon writers conference last week. And while I was there it seemed God kept reminding me over and over that He is our bread (John 6:35). 

Or in Holley-talk (since sugar speaks to the core of my being), He's the ice cream in our cone. Only He can really satisfy us; only He can fill us up.  

During dinner with my husband I recently said, "I just want more of Jesus."

And I realized that is a really heart-freeing place to be because it makes every answer (even the ones that look like a "no") a YES. Because God always answers our prayers for more of Him.

So, y'all, no more surviving on sprinkles for this girl.

Sure, I'll enjoy them when they come. I'll appreciate what they add to my life. I'll embrace them for the amazing gifts from God that they are.

But I've finally realized I want Him even more than what I want most.

I'm going for the triple-scoop-hot-fudge-whipped-cream-and-a-cherry goodness that is God's amazing grace.

There's simply nothing better.

Taste and see that the Lord is good. Psalm 34:8

p.s. This post was inspired in part by a real life trip to an ice cream shop in California with two fabulous women, Bonnie from Faith Barista and Sarah Markley from The Best Days of My Life. I had the chocolate-chocolate-chip-fudge-make-you-pass-out-on-the-floor flavor (in case you were wondering).

Would you like to leave a comment or Subscribe by Email?

Read the rest of the God-sized dreams series.

read more
On being heaven-sick…

On being heaven-sick…

Holley Ann Amber Stephanie by the oldest Haines' boy

photo lovingly borrowed from Amber

She comes, this woman whose words have nourished my soul, who grows them in the fields of her heart like her good husband grows crops on their farm.

And she's even more beautiful than I could have imagined, inside and out.

We go to the rock home where husband and wife live, revolutionaries alive with glory and pain, and I sit by her too…gorgeous, deep-souled poet.

And I share it all with my lovely heart friend from (in)courage who I see almost every day, and still not enough. The one who reminds me that life is about JOY and bravery.

Those moments, these women, make my heart long for heaven and home. I catch a glimpse of it in their words, our hugs, the feeling of being where I belong.

Then we go back to our worlds.

I ache so much that I can't write for a day, too empty and full all at once.

And you are part of the ache too, the faces I haven't seen but somehow know.

One day there will not be time, space, borders. We will be together.

We will truly be home.

Until then, I'm a little heaven-sick…

for you, for them, for Him.

Subscribe by Email

read more